A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:'Ello, Aunts and Uncles. I've got a bit of a conundrum for ya and I appreciate any advice offered. Honestly, I would like to see more male opinions on this than female. However, all advice is welcome, read, and appreciated, lovelies! :]I met a guy online a few months back. We've developed a pretty nice friendship. (He's not a nut. Don't worry.) We've messaged and messaged and messaged nearly everyday. We recently decided to meet up and have a coffee at a local coffee house with great local bands. Everything went smoothly and we both seemingly had a super time. A few weeks later, we went out for a movie and again had a nice time. He pulled a few moves and we ended up kissing a few times. It got slightly heated, but I told him to cool it. Nevertheless, it was pleasant! Of course, being how we have been chatting for months, our conversations have taken sexual turns here or there and we are rather attracted to one another, but we have always talked about going slow. We had plans Saturday, but unfortunately they went awry. He called to tell me, that morning, that he had to go into his firm for a few hours, which isn't uncommon. It is something he has spoke about for the entire length of our friendship (working overtime and being called in on weekends). He promised to call when he was done and we would figure something out. He didn't say he wanted to cancel, but only push the time a little until he was done. He even told me some detail of what he was having to go into work for. I thought nothing of it. Like I said, this is typical behavior of his work environment, as he has described, of course. Hours later, he said he was home. (This was late afternoon.) I asked if I should still come over and he said he was afraid he was too frustrated and irritated from the day at work. I didn't reply much back, as I was a little disappointed. He then said that he was sorry and that he just needed to clear his head and not make things worse. I questioned what he meant by that and he said that if our hanging out wasn't going to lead to "a lot" that evening then it's best we didn't hang out that night. I immediately demanded to know what that meant. My first thoughts were that he was insinuating if I didn't put out, he didn't want to see me and that I would only frustrate him further. He said it was just from the frustration of the day and that he needed to blow off steam. He promised he'd be over it and we could see each other the next weekend. I asked him if what I thought he meant was correct and he didn't deny it or correct me. He just further claimed to be extremely frustrated and I ended the conversation there. I was and am legitimately confused, as he has never spoken to me like this or made me feel like he just wants sex out of this. Of course, he's expressed his desires for it and, needless to say, I've mentioned my interest. However, I have expressed we need to date a little while longer. He's never pressured me or made me feel awkward. However, with this, I do not know what to think. Something else to mention: He made these weekend plans with me. He initiated and was persistent of hanging out. So, I would like some male opinions on this and would like to know what to do and whether or not I should be angry at his rude remark. I asked a male friend and he said that he probably just had a bad day and didn't want to finish the day with a bad case of blue balls, if I am so adamant of taking it slow. LOL. After hearing that, I didn't know whether to feel slightly flattered that he might find me that exciting or extremely angry that he is expecting and wanting sex so soon. Haha, Oh I'm a mess! Tell me what you think!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll right. Any ideas on how I should tackle this?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): Something isn't right.
When you really like someone, and you've had a bad day, you want them there, even if sex isn't in the cards.
The "blue balls" thing is "bull shit".
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