Plain and simple, I need intercourse, I am on birth control, no kids for five years, if it works, my boyfriend does not want to worry about pregnancy, so no sex, I want sex, how do I persuade him to comply?? |
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A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half, and we have not had sex. We've messed around and done different kinds of sex. He has told me that he is extremely paranoid about pregnancy and he honestly can't help it. I've been really patient and I've been on many different birth control. I'm on the mirena now and can't get pregnant for the next 5 years. So, he is relieved that I'm serious and I don't want to have a kid as well. Sex isn't something I have to have in a relationship, but it's something I want and I know he does too. So, how do I tell him....if we don't have sex soon...i'm done! Is that selfish of me??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): No, it is not selfish of you. Funny, isn't it, that when it's a woman who doesn't want sex, she's cold, she's frigid, she's an uptight bitch, she's neglecting of her "wifely duties", she's leaving her man "no other choice" but to cheat. But when it's a man who doesn't want sex...well, that's just his prerogative. Gotta love those double standards!
A
male
reader, xylplxym +, writes (15 July 2008):
Well I know someone will undoubtably tell you different and then you can feel all justified about what you are doing, but yeah that is very selfish of you. Obviously you care more about your libido than actually being in a relationship. Or perhaps all your relationships have been primarily sexual and you do not understand what a real relationship is. Anyway I am not going to tell you how to convince your boyfriend to hav sex with you if thats what you were expecting. Don't worry though, there are plenty of guys who will treat you like shit and have no problem banging you or getting you pregnant, maybe you should try that.
And truthfully I am of the opinion that if you are not prepared to accept children you should not be having sex at all. Humans are capable of controlling their sexual drive; it's what separates us from the animals, well some of us anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Has he ever heard of using a condom! I am amazed that the responsbility comes down entirely to you when he has such strong views on the matter so yes, to me, he is being extremely selfish (or could be hiding from something else and using it as an excuse).
If you take the pill and he uses a condom then you are both taking responsibility and making doubley sure that you don't get pregnant. If he doesn't find this idea a good one, then I would leave him as it just doesn't sound normal to me.
There are plenty of other guys out there who would be flattered that you had gone to so much trouble to ensure an unwanted pregnancy.
Good luck and keep us posted.
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