A
female
age
36-40,
*essbelle
writes:I really need some perspective. My bf and I are at college. He will be graduating in a few months and I will have another semester after that. We go to school near each other but this year we live pretty much at my place. He has a place at his school, but hasn't spent one night there since we got here. Things have been going well. We have had some time to have fun. We shop and cook together and he hangs at my school with me and my friends most of the time.This past Friday he said the guys at his place asked him to hang out and get dinner and then they were having a small party. I had to be in a dance performance for a big gala at my school. I was busy all day rehearsing and so forth. He called a couple of times and he was having fun. He called again at 1am and said he thought he could drive I told him not to bother if he wasnt' sure and so he spent the night at his place. Saturday, I had another performance, so he went to a hockey game w/the guys. Again, he got really drunk and couldn't drive over. This time I was pissed.He just showed up today like nothing happened. I feel like, hey, we pretty much live together and you just decided to keep drinking and not come back.He doesn't have many guy friends so I don't want to be stupid, but my feelings are so hurt.We went through this last year where once he had a couple of friends he was like desperate to party w/them all the time and I felt pretty unimportant We ended up breaking up for awhile.Please help me get some perspective on this. We have been together for over 6 years.
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female
reader, jessbelle +, writes (26 October 2009):
jessbelle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reality check. It really helped so much. I have always encouraged him to have friends but he has a hard time following through. He has let so many potentially awesome friendships slip away. A lot of his inability to have close friendships comes from a very, very controlling mother. I don't want to be that to him. You're right, he needs this, but he needs, also to be able to just say what he's doing up front, right? My friend and I waited for him for two hours before he called back too drunk to drive.
Also, to q1605 I am definitely not a drag him across the altar, get the hook in his mouth kind of girl, but thanks for you reply.
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