A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'll cut straight to it; penis' freak me out! My boyfriend and I were doing some..."fun stuff" and I went to give him oral and...well once it was in my mouth I completely freaked out to the point where i cried (not while I was still down there, I'd come back up and had a lil episode first) he was super sweet about it - he's an absolute cutey - and was just upset that I was so upset by it. But I mean what the...? How do I get past this? Just looking at it creeped me out and as for the total melt down...well I have a disorder which can cause mood swings and feelings of depression but that was so not an appropriate time (btw I had been on a "high note" type mood about 10 minutes before this and returned to the good mood 10 minutes after my breakdown) but seriously how do I get over it? If I can't stand to go near his "equipment" how are we meant to move forward in our relationship? Up until now we'd both agreed we were ready for that level but what am I meant to do; if I can't let it in my mouth how am I meant to let it inside me? Grrr little help please? (Side note, not bi or lesbian, very happy in my relationship) thank you!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2014): Try to remember your BF's penis is part of HIM. Its not a dangerous dirty little monster. If you touch it then he feels your touch. If he squeezes the muscle then it twitches. If cold air blows on it then he feels the cold. If you tickle it then he gets tickled. Think of it like his foot or his hand, just more sensitive.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2014): Aww. So young, so innocent. All this means is you weren't ready to give him oral yet, and that's okay! Stick to doing things that don't freak you out and you'll be fine. Eventually, you will get more comfortable with your boyfriend, you'll get more comfortable with his penis, and you'll get more comfortable with touching it or having inside you.Keep in mind that putting it in your mouth isn't necessarily easier or not as big a deal as being inside your vagina, despite popular perceptions. Many, many women have intercourse before they do oral(I did), and many women don't do oral at all. It's your choice.Also, looking at it isn't going to always creep you out. I can tell you from experience that a lot of grown women, who are now quite fond of penises, had a sImilar reaction the first time they saw one. They can be pretty intimidating or even gross when you're not used to seeing them. But you will get used to them and that will change.You don't have to rush to get past this or get over it. It will happen naturally. Not only will trying to force it not help, it's only going to make things worse. That's what sounds like happened here...you say you were creeped out just looking at it, yet you still attempted to perform oral. You just went a little too fast. That's okay. It just means you need to slow down.Hopefully your boyfriend is patient enough to let you go at your own pace. (If he's not, dump him and find somebody who is.) If he is, feel free to go as slow as you're comfortable with. And remember that even if you agree with him to go to the next level, even if you're sitting there staring at that next level, you're still allowed to change your mind and go back to the last level at any time. It's never too late to say no.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2014): Thats funny, actually oral sex doesnt come first. Oral sex usuale comes affer intercorse when people are comfortable with each other. Using hands and fingers, yes, but oral its like extra. Times changed, and now people do oral sex and stay so called " virgins" .
Of course it's weird to you. Believe me it's not going to be that weird for you when heis inside of you. In some cultures oral sex is not even practiced at all, but intercourse everyone does.
But anyway, my opinion you are a novice here, and it's getting some getting use to to be comfortable and relax around each other
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (23 January 2014):
 As already said below, it's the sign you are not (totally) ready for sex. You are not mature enough and be persuaded it's not a bad thing to be young and innocent. One day, be sure you will regret this state, around your 40's, once you will have had a lot of penis(es) in your life, and sex won't ever be more than just a good feeling (or even an itch that requires to be vigorously scratched).
Don't hurry to put an end to your innocence my dear, even if your hormones - or more probably your boyfriend's ones - urge you to take a leap to "the next stage".
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 January 2014):
 Too much, too fast, for sure.
You aren't ready, so stop pushing it. Relax, when you are ready, you'll know it.
Don't worry about 'moving forward' in your relationship, you're 16-17. It's okay to take things slow.
You weren't ready, you thought you were, but your reaction shows you actually are not.
The worst thing you could do right now is to try to force yourself to do something you really don't want to do. You tried, you were brave and gave it a try, it's just not time yet and you do NOT have to 'take it to the next level.'
"What am I meant to do; if I can't let it in my mouth how am I meant to let it inside me?" Relax, and don't do anything you aren't ready for just yet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): In a way it was a good thing. You aren't really ready emotionally for any act of sex. You may need more time to grow into the idea.
You have seen a penis before? Probably not one attached to your boyfriend.
For the time being, just avoid them until you feel you're ready to see one again.
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