A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. We argue excessively, to the point where he calls me hateful names such as 'bitch' and 'dickhead' and then accuses me of being over-emotional when I become upset. Last year, I found texts on his phone from another girl, and when he deleted them I became suspicious and investigated on Facebook by private messaging the girl that I saw on the texts. She told me he had told her that he didn't have a girlfriend, and that he hadn't for a long time, although this was obviously very far from the truth. Anyway, we broke up over that, I forgave him, and we got back together. He promised he wouldn't do anything like that to me again, but last December, he did..I logged onto his facebook to get my url as someone had hacked my account and I needed it for authorisation of my account. Whilst I was on there, I saw messages between him and this other girl, him saying that she looked 'amazing blonde' saying that he was 'looking for someone to go cinema with' and asking for her number. Ever since, I have been extremely insecure and just feel so low. I'm not blonde - I have brown hair and feel that this is not what he wants or not good enough for him, although he promises otherwise. I yet again forgave him and we were trying to get things back on track, but tonight, he told me he was going to the pub with some man that we used to work with, who once called me a 'slut' in his own language (Hindu). My boyfriend was there when he said this to me, and he did not say anything or stick up for me. We split up over that, and now, hes deciding to socialise with this person? Why would he do this? I don't understand...he says he loves me more than anything and that he can't be without me.. he begs for me back all the time when I try and finish things because I'm so hurt over whats happened. I just want some advice on this situation and what has happened, as I'm really unsure on what to do and whether it will be for the best if we break up for good.Thanks
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Hunny he obviously has commitment issues, even though he may not have cheated physically he has done it emotionally and he is ruining your self esteem and confidence. No man should treat a woman like this. Just because she was blonde doent mean that he doesnt find you attractive, he is just not ready for a serious commitment. You forgave him once this should have been enough for him to stop but it wasnt he done it a second time.
As for this guy he never stood up for you when he called you a slut which is not good behaviour for a boyfriend. Even if he didnt want trouble he shouldnt be out socialising with him now especially as he knows that he called you a slut.
I think for the sake of your mental health it would be best to come out of this relationship and spend some time on your own getting your life back on track. Sure it will be hard at the start and it will be upsetting for a while but in time you will one day look back and be glad you made the move when you did. Goodluck sweetie.
A
female
reader, lif3sucks  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 well hun i would say let go of him, he obviouly hasnt learned. i would just keep turning him down if he keeps coming back and begging you for forgiveness, you deserve way better than that any girl would. and if he keeps coming back and doesnt stop months down the road and if you still have feelings for him just be his friend and find out if he really has changed BUT make sure that he has changed before you go back to him and if he messes up again then i would have it be done for good and never take him back
hope this helps!
good luck!
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