A
female
age
36-40,
*ay07
writes:Help! My partner of nearly four years woke up a few days ago and totally out of the blue told me he was leaving me and moving out. We have always had a good relationship, though with its fair share of hard times (his mother passed away 2 years ago when he was only 19 years old) we have always come out the other side even stronger. This is why I dont understand. I know that there isnt anybody else because he has stayed at my house every night. We are still sleeping together and he still tells me that he loves me all the time. I have a 5 year old son from a previous relationship who calls him daddy and im worried what affect it is having on him. I am at my wits end and I feel numb, if he doesnt want to be with me then why is he acting like this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rk06  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 I can tell that you are a kind person by the way you speak of him. You have every right to be at your wits end. Being a Christian I realize that God has a plan. You will be happy. My advice: Talk to him. Find out whats bothering him. If that doesnt work... you deserve better.
A
female
reader, muirn beatha dan +, writes (9 April 2007):
DEAR NAY07
well i dont no what 2 say hunnie if he says he leaving u then y isent he? it sounds like he still loves u i think u should have a sit down and talk about it.but if it does not work out as long as your child sees his (dad) i think it will be okay hope this helped
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (9 April 2007):
 This guy is 21, and yours is the only serious relationship he's been in as an adult. My bet is that he's just undergoing some late changes in his maturation process ... he's finally growing up. He's not the boy that you started living with four years ago. You are obviously a great deal more mature ... a great deal more stable mentally and emotionally ... than he is.
Now my guess is that he's outgrown whatever it was in his personality that put him together with you in the first place. He still has all the shared experiences and the joys and sorrows that four years with you have given him. He still feels deeply for you as a result of this. For all those things, he does indeed love you. You will always be important to him.
But the great spark that drove him to you in the first place and that has kept him with you for these years has been a victim of his growth. I believe that you probably no longer fill the need in his life, in his soul, that you once did.
It hurts me very much to say it, but that is one of the dangers we undertake when we form a bond with people of that age. There is always the possibility that their emotional growth will lead them to maturity as quite different people than the people we first fell in love with.
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