A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago, we were together for 2 years. We broke up basically because we weren't getting along for a long time and he refused to communicate his issues. I didn't want to break up with him because I loved him, but I was the only one invested in the relationship emotionally. We ended it on good terms, and had seen each other a couple of times since then because he lives with my brother, and we ended up sleeping together a few times. The last time was a month ago. Two weeks ago I heard that he had been trash talking me to people and I told him I didn't want to know him anymore. Then my brother told me today that last weekend he brought a girl home after a night out and slept with her. I know I shouldn't care but it really hurts. I'm so confused... A part of me is still in love with him and the other part of me hates him for how he has acted.. I never thought he would sleep with someone so soon :( has anyone had any experience dealing with this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2013): "A part of me is still in love with him and the other part of me hates him for how he has acted..I never thought he would sleep with someone so soon :("
How HE has acted? Sorry to be harsh but you're the one who broke up with your EX, yet you're the one who's still putting out for your EX and since he's your EX he is free to sleep with whomever else he chooses with her or his or their consent whenever he chooses to do so.
I suspect your bruised ego is affecting your thinking, guessing you broke up with him on the false assumption that he'd instantly realize what he'd lost and immediately change his ways to win you back. Instead, he's taking advantage of his freedom while knowing he can still have you on the side. From a guy's point of view that's a win-win.
I just don't understand what females think they stand to gain by continuing to sleep with ex-boyfriends after breaking up with them. In my day back in the Stone Age, the only disadvantage of a breakup was the prospect of NOT getting laid regularly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2013): Hi! I've just answered a similar question to this, relating to getting over people that are utter tw**s! I'm in the process of getting over someone who I made a pretty big fool of myself in front of, as I was pretty taken with him- at the time I was emotionally distressed and very unstable- and you know what? He completely ignored me even though i was suicidal. (he knew i had quite extreme problems as we saw each other for a while) as if this wasn't enough he's also a compulsive liar and went round slandering me, making up all this stuff i didn't do, as though i was obsessed with him. He showed NO tact, no compassion.I am finally in the place now when I can listen to what my close ones say about him- that he's an utter tw**.- for a while I've been torn- pining after him but at the back of my mind there is so much resentment festering. It was a few days ago when a wave of elated shock has just come over me- why would I want to even KNOW someone who treats people like this? Let alone let myself be upset by them?? That anger or hate you feel is your self respect yelling at you to dismiss him and your feelings for him. He'll probably come crawling back anyway- he's going on about you to people, so he clearly still thinks about you- steady, this is NOt a good thing, as it doesn't mean he wants a relationship, it just means he's a sad strange little man that needs to get a hobby... Lol! One day it will hit you what a waste of feelings he is. In the meantime, keep your friends close and try and enjoy living your life for yourself! :) xx
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