A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I still wrong?Around 4 years ago I came here because my partner was complaining about her weight, size and not making any effort. I said I look after myself and I wanted her to do the same. She feels insecure when out with friends meaning we go out less. When I read the responses I was red in the face.Dearcupid responses but stating that there is no bigger loser than me and I’m selfish. I was quite upset by this and had to reevaluate my thoughts. I clearly love her so I did not want to lose her so I accepted her. After all she was only size 8 when we got together, and 4 years ago was size 12/14. Recently we went on holiday and realised she brought two outfits for 7 days. She likes to be naked when around me and covered up in loose clothing in public. But now it’s getting to point she no longer looks like a shape of woman. she has gone past obese and now is size 18. I have tried to help but she finds it difficult because of effort. I’m so stuck because I realised I’m losing physical attraction when naked. I’m only 30, she is 26. Along with size comes laziness and fitness issues. I cannot go hiking holidays and nor will she come. It seems stupid to end 10 year relationship on that but surely there has to be another way? Or am I still a loser for saying this like last time? Thanks for reading
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (25 August 2024):
 You feel what you feel or what you don't feel. Most people have a certain look or type that they are attracted to and lets be honest, in most relationships physical attraction plays a part at least initially. Its not hard to understand why you have lost your attraction to her physically. Is it right? Is it wrong? Its how you feel. You can't help what you feel. You can lie about it nd tell yourself it doesn't matter but it DOES matter to you. I am not going to call you a loser. My former husband (has passed away) was so very handsome when we got married. He just took my breath away he was so attractive to me. Over time, he started drinking very heavily, stopped caring about his appearance. He gained alot of weight in his stomach stopped fixing his hair to look nice, didn't shower as much and smoked up a storm. He looked and smelled greasy, and reeked of smoke and alcohol. It really turned me off and he refused to address the issues. The attractive man was gone and left was this unkempt smelly almost unrecognizable person. I felt no attraction to him at all. Eventually we divorced. Not because of his appearance but his lack of care of himself certainly didn't endear me to him.
In the end, you must choose what is acceptable to you and what isn't. Looks ceretainly arent everything but they play a part and anyone who says they don't...well..I'd almost say that person is a liar.
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