A
male
age
51-59,
*ow_can_I_get_her-back
writes:How can I stop cheating, lying, hurting and stealing??? How can I change?? Who can help me?? who has the right answer??? Why am I doing this specially to the those who love me and close to me??? How can I change?? Why am I angry?? Why do I fail?? Am I crazy?? How can I love? How can I stop my self from Doubting any one?? How can I be the right man for my own wife??? Why am I doing all this??? Please do not answer me with religious words... Am 44, mature and I know what is right and what is wrong.. But when I am not working, all sort of deception thoughts and revenge and blame start running around within my mind... How can I stop all this??? Who cares to speak to me and study me and has the patience to treat me.. I promise I want to change for ever,,,, Any help please???
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): You fail because you don't really try. Not being able to help yourself doing that what you want is a weakness. You're taking the easy way out my friend. You steal because you don't want to work, you hurt people because that's you're way of not feeling the hurt and by lying to other people you're lying to yourself as well. Be a stronger man, stop taking shortcuts. You are going to feel pain and get hurt - it's called life.
NightFairy
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 July 2010):
 I think you need to help yourself and then possible, if you really feel you are un-capable, go see a professional.
However, you need to take responsibility for your actions. Why you cheat? Only YOU know, so asking us is never going to give you the answer. What goes through your head as you cheat is what will give you the answer. Are you only focused on pleasure? Do you have problems saying no? Do you have problems differentiating between right and wrong?
I know you said you are mature and know the difference between right and wrong, and I am sorry, but it doesn't match up. If you were mature you would know yourself enough to understand why you behave like this, and if you knew the difference between right and wring you wouldn't do wrong. It is simple, yet you fail. Only you know why.
It could be psychological, that you feel you are above the rules and should be allowed to do as you please, only a professional will know. And again, only you know.
The only way to STOP all this, is to actually STOP! Next time you are about to do it, or catch yourself doing it, why don't you just STOP? Anything else would be writing off your own responsibility for your actions. You are not a pupped controlled by some evil mind. You are controlled by YOU.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (23 July 2010):
Get a conscience? Obviously the first step is admiting you have a problem, which you are. I think you might need help that goes far beyond what any of us can help you with. You didn't give too much info about yourself--the only thing that I can really gather is from the title, which I don't know if you even picked yourself. Could you be depressed? Have nacissistic personality disorder? Could be a number of things. You know right from wrong and if you don't have the self control to do what is right when you know it's wrong, then you probably need to talk to someone that can help you. Don't feel bad about having to seek help from a therapist, if you want to change as bad as it seems like you do, then seeing someone is an option you'll have to take if you're serious about changing. It may work and it may not, but trying to see if it will help you is a positive step forward.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): Is it a serious question? If so,then you have won the biggest part by facing it. Either get proffessional help or work on it.
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (23 July 2010):
 All of these feeling come from trust. You have problems with trusting other people, therefor you break the trust others give you. What you need to do it see a psychologist and they be able to help you find the source. All of this always comes from a certain place within that started it all. Most problems like this also start from ones childhood. If you truly want to change for the rest of your life then seeing a true professional that can study and get to know you is what you must do.
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