A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have dated quite a bit over the past few years. Online dating and it's usually 1 or 2 dates and then it doesn't go any where. Or, I find something wrong with them, or they are not my type. I haven't been in a relationship in over 15 years...just dating.About 7 months ago I started talking to this guy online. We talked for a few months (he lives out of town) and then met up. Upon our first meeting we had such crazy sexual chemistry we slept together. He left and then came back a couple of weeks later. I *freaked* out and told him I didn't think the relationship would go anywhere. Yet, we slept togehter. He left and we didn't chat for about a month but I missed him and we started chatting again. Forward to the holidays. He comes back into to town and we spend a few days together. I am so confused when I am with him I don't know if I really like him but when he's not here I get crazy missing him! I don't know if these feelings are because I am scared, or if he's not really my type and I just really want it to work. I am 45 and he is 35 and we are quite different from each other. But, something keeps drawing me back to him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (5 January 2011):
 hi
can i ask, apart from when you are having sex with him, do you enjoy his company? is he funny, interesting, makes you feel like you want to know everything about him and makes you feel like you want to tell him everything about you? if the answer is no, then he is just a f**k-buddy and may be the feelings you get when he is gone is just loneliness, not particularly a specific yearning for him? (just a thought). if you are both happy sleeping together the occasional company of each other, maybe you could both date other people as well? do you have any hobbies and a social life to keep you occupied in between his visits? if not, get some, helps you keep a relationship in perspective if you have other things in life too
xx
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (5 January 2011):
 He seems a nice caring man and i feel that he does like you a lot, but i also feel that you are scared of commitment. I obviously don't know anything of your history but is there something in your past that makes you afraid to let y our self go with men and put a bit of trust in them because that's the only way any of these relationships would truly work. Are you afraid they will take something from you that you arent prepared to give. If you can't establish what it is then you will always be in this cycle and never be able to get off and enjoy a lovely life with a man who loves you deeply. Put a bit more time and effort in to this one and see how far it takes you. Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): I would try to find someone closer to you who you see more as a long term partner since you don't see him that way. Take more time before sex, it can cloud your real feelings about relationship potential.
I think the relationship with him is mostly based on sex and you aren't communicating regularly so it will never be fulfilling for you.
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