A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HELP! Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years, he was my first pretty much everything and iv only ever been with him. I have always been more dependent on him and was always all about him and so in love with him while he was always more independent and it seemed like he would be the one to end things if anything, and I would be the one devestated. Well recently my feelings have changed right out of the blue. I don't know if i want to be with him anymore and im going out more without him and im not as concerned if we hang out. Im starting to sort of want to be with other guys and sort of just be single. I never could have seen this coming as ive always been all about him. Is this just a phase? I don't know what to do im so confused. Even if I talk to him about it i would have no idea what to even say. Any advice? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, multitask +, writes (21 June 2010):
I've bee through similar situations way too many times. Actually I've been through it 5 times to date.What would happen is that I would be with a female and everything goes great until one day their minds change and the relationship ends. That's fine but the irritating part is the drama that would happen afterwords. They either 1: Pester me to stay friends. Effectively continuing the relationship without the sex.2: Try to restart the relationship.This usually happens after 3-6 months of no communication and it becomes really annoying because one has to work hard to change their feelings regarding that someone. The truth is that humans are poor predictors of their own feelings (especially around the ages of 19-28 in my own experience). Statistically, I have found very few 19-28 year old who are able to commit and "settle" at such a young age. It may just mean that you are in a phase where you want to explore and experience new things. Maybe you feel like a kid who has lived in a small town all her life (where the small town is the relationship). That isn't necessarily a bad thing but a smart thing to do would be to make absolutely sure of your feelings so you don't end up regretting 6 months from now (not to mention the emotional drama that might develop). It may just be that you are tiered of the same monotony relationships seem to be susceptible too (I've repeated his but in my experience this lays a huge factor, with myself included). It may mean that the infatuation you had for the guy has ran its course.Another issue may be guilt. You may leave the guy to feel sorry that you left the guy only to find yourself back with the guy because of guilt. Ultimately it could be any number of things.My advice would be to communicate your feelings and then spend like a month away from him to really understand what you are feeling, then make your decision.But feelings are a weird thing. Above all, it would be great to communicate them in a very tactful manner if at all possible.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): I think you should break up with him. It sounds like your heart just isn't in it anymore. There's a great big world out there. Get out and enjoy it while your young. Figure out what YOU want out of life before you get serious with anyone. You have plenty of time to be serious later.
...............................
A
female
reader, lookscankill8 +, writes (21 June 2010):
That happened to me. Like, your not sure of you have the same feelings for him? You should tell him exactly that. Your not sure if you still like him as much as he likes you. If you can, try to hangout with him to see if its just a phase, or if you actually moved on. Good luck! (:
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010):
Things might seem to be becoming a little repetitive. Do something spontaneous, out of the blue... something that will put the WHOA back in Wo-man, lol, something both of you can do :).
What's more, I know a couple of people have felt this way because they're instinctively feeling lack of commitment, (and by commitment I mean the big 'M' word) =p...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): I know where your coming from...try to ride it out for a month or two...if you still feel like this then you need to sit him down and talk to him about how you are feeling. the key in relationships is communication...with out it...whats the point in being in a relationship..
...............................
|
