A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is 44 years old (45 in a few months) i have hit my sexual peak am in my early 30s. He has never been oversexed since we got together. Had problems with performance a few times in the beginning - losing his erection etc. He really loves me and I can really tell. I absolutely love him too.Problem is, his sex drive is nowhere near as big as mine. I can cope with it if I know he is not lying to me. When we were just friends he told me he and his ex used to have a good sex life and were always having sex. THIS MAKES ME SOOOO JEALOUS. however, it turns out that in the last two years of their relationship they never had sex at all coz she went off him and eventually she went off with someone else. He was celebate until he met me four years later. We have a great otherwise relationship. We are always kissing and cuddling touching etc. but he is quite happy with sex once a week. We have had numerous conversations about it where I have said I feel unattractive, undesired etc, etc and he says it's definately not me ------ I ask him if its because i dont' turn him on and he says "why would i bother being iwth someone who doesn't turn me on..he said he would be wasting my time and his own. He also says that he has been on his own four years why would he bother to be wiht me if he didn't fancy me.But my paranoia is running riot. He also says that he hasn't had a w**k since we have been togther. He does work 10, 11 hour days and is often tired. Is he telling me the truth or is it strange that a man only wants it once a week????????????
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erection, his ex, jealous, kissing, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2013): well I'm 39 and I can do it only once a week. sometimes 2. so I'd say your boyfriend is quite good for his age.I don't think he is not attracted you you or anything like that. If you love him enough and sex is the only issue, then you may want to consider toys. My wife gets 10 times sex per week. 1 or 2 from me, and the rest from her butterfly vibrator. She's happy, I'm happy.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 June 2013):
 I vote for paranoia. The guy is 45, so no oversexed young stud , and he is working 11 hours a day, and still can perform regularly once a week- it's not exactly sexual starvation, it could be better but , it could be a lot worse. Plus he loves you, he shows it, he is tender , affectionate- I'd say it's a case of being fine with quality over quantity :).
If you definitely CAN'T be fine with quality over quantity, well, there's always non penetrative sex, I am sure you are aware there are other ways he can satisfy you without penetration or without even having an erection as for that, - maybe you'd feel selfish asking him to JUST cater to your needs when he is not feeling particularly amorous, but it does not have to be every moment or every day, it's just a matter of finding a balance between your incandescent early 30s and his more lukewarm mid 40s, I am sure you could work it out.
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