A
male
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anonymous
writes:My relationship with my g/f is in a bit of a rut and the other night i pointed this out to her. We love each other and I don't want a split but would love to make it work.Anyway, i was over critical of the relationship and of my g/f. She is very 'sensitive' and all this 'criticism' this has damaged her to the extent that she won't contact me and has said it is over. It has all backfired on me. What's worse is that it was me that highlighted some bad points in our relationship that she wasn't even aware of before and is now. I feel like i've truely blown it.The only glimmer of hope i have is that she said she still loves me, attracted to me and i believe herHow do i win her back ? Do i pursue, pursuade? Do i tell her how i feel and then say i'll give you time to think it over? Will this freak\pressure her more? Do i backoff completely? How would you folks out there approach this?many thx for any advices Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. great sensible advice. I have tried calling emailing today without reply. She either needs space or is not interested and can't face me. If no reply by tonite, my only option is to back off and have no contact. thx again
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 The question is are you prepared to be in a relationship that lacks open communication? Depending on how u addressed the issue maybe you sounded like you were blaming her and that ticked her off. In future try to find a way of raising issues it will help her to open up as u said she is sensitive, this will make it easier for u guys to resolve any outstanding problems u maybe facing.
I think u must not pressure her, gently and patiently allow her to tell you how she feels then take it from there and dont be defensive at the same time dont take crap otherwise you will be back on square one. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006): This probably scared the girl completely! She clearly wasn't aware of the same problems you were aware of. Also, she probably liked you enough that the problems she DID notice didn't bother her. She obvioulsly thought that you were trying to get rid of her by bringing up certain problems, as guys arent usually up-front like you were - they would usually just run for the hills - so I admire the fact that you were honest with her, but maybe you could have been less in-her-face about it.
I'm not saying its all your fault, both of you need to accept that there are problems in the relationship.
Best thing you can do noew- don't pursue her madly, just let her know that you did not mean to make her think you wanted to end the relationship, just that you were making it clear that you were unhappy but willing to change to make it work.
If that fails, she is obviously really bothered by the problems you brought up and doesn't like you enough to want to work it out. I'm sorry if it turns out to be the second sitch!
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