A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I met this girl freshmen year of college and she's perfect.Everything I want, beautiful smart, and kind of goofy like myself. I spoiled this girl, not like buying her things, but I rubbed her back, told her she was pretty everyday, basically was prince charming. As a result we had a great relationship and the sex for both of us was the best it had ever been. Then about 6 months in sex started to hurt her. To a point where it didn't exist anymore and thus our sex life dropped off the map as well. Why the pain? To this day we don't know. Anyways 4 months down the road no sex seeing each other all the time our relationship hit it's breaking point. She broke up with me. Turns out she had been texting a guy for two weeks and had developed a crush on him. Worse yet she breaks up with me and the next night brings this guy back from the bars and they hook up. So then the next day she's back hanging out with me, cause we missed each other. I ended up finding out that she had a crush on this guy but nothing about the hook up. I convince her to sit and think for awhile and not talk to either of us. So three days later she's at the bar with a friend and this dude rolls in holding a girls hand. My ex is brushing it off as a typical guy and moves on. However she feels strange talking to me. We take a week off I get back and we decide to grab dinner, didn't even make it out of her house. I had sex with her and it worked fine no pain ( this happened once in a blue moon) anyways three weeks later were trying things again and I'm totally unaware of what happened and life is great, were doing really good and were happy and somehow sex picked back up. Not as much as we wanted but better than none. Then through a friends slip up I hear about the hook up and I go nuts. I had been with my ex for three weeks under a lie. But we had been at that amazing level I always loved so I didn't know what to do. How do you walk away from the girl you think is the one? so I didn't I've stayed with her still and we have great days but they don't last. But I can't help and think what she did. While I did nothing. The injustice of it just keeps playing in my mind. It's awful and it's breaking us both down cause it's two months later and I can't get over it. She even told me she wishes she I would have done the same so she wouldn't feel so guilty. I just can't believe she could do that to me. And when the break up and no sex wasn't even my fault. For the record their hook up was unenjoyable for her because of the same common pain. So really their was no motive she was just drunk and did something stupid. But I can't help but think what if she hadn't seen him in the bar with another girl they could even be f buddies right now. And I just get sick thinking of her with him. Can anyone help me out with this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): Update** she does want me back badly. There's no doubt and she has been very loyal. A lot of the issues stem from how I met her. Her ex broke up with her and 7 days later she met me. But I was a really sweet guy who helped her get through her break up and just have fun. She stills remembers me telling her when ask what I thought about her, I replied you seem like someone I would have fun with making happy. When she broke up with me she clearly stated she did not want a break. She said she was happy but didn't feel the real happiness she wanted. I had become her best friend not her boyfriend. She always thought I was the one but now she thought there had to be someone else. She was 100% sure she wanted to ended it and that we would not be getting back together. And I know this cause she told all her friends this as well. What's worse is the guy is an athlete and she was trying out for the same team as him. So they would have been at practice together 20 hours a week. I wanted to tell her no but I couldn't crush her dream of making the team and all her hard work. She ended up not making the team cause the guy talked to the coach and said he didn't like her. Karma sucks. But ya now she wNts to do so much be so loyal. But I just don't see how things could be better now with all this compared to back when we broke up and we just had the sex issue. Which was vaginimus and she is seeing a gyno
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 November 2012):
 Basically she broke up with you to try a guy out but to get back with you in case it doesn't work out with that guy. Before you broke up she had already be emotionally cheating, by texting the other guy. Anyone knows the risk when you get drunk with a guy. If the motive is not sex it would be somehow getting closer to that guy. Probably what happened was the guy telling her he's not interested in a relationship. To come back to you the next day mean that the break up was baloney and insincere. This is not a case of rebound sex and messy emotions. The whole thing was premeditated and to expect you to just take her back was totally inconsiderate of your feelings.
Just to let you know, sex will always hurt somehow, even when it is enjoyable, even when the woman is well lubricated. There will be tiny tears in the vagina each time you have sex. It doesn't mean all stopping of sex. You should go slow then build up the speed later. There is always the dilemma of wanting to lett the guy have their way with you, and wanting to feel comfortable and secure during sex. Passion vs safe. When you are in doubt always be gentle. I find that the only time I didn't hurt was with guys who are really really small.
You treated her like a princess but she treated you like shit. She didn't appreciate you and cherish your good qualities. She's the one making all the mistakes so I couldn't think of any way you could make a mistake.
My only advice would be to talk more. Next time she feels like talking to another guy she should just break up with you permanently. It makes sense that you can't get over her hook up, and if you never will, then breaking up with her would not be a mistake and I won't disagree with your decision.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): She cheated on you.
She might not have technically been with you when she finally fucked him, but she started the process of getting with him behind your back while you and her were together. I call that cheating. If you aren't cheating then you cannot be a week into another relationship when you are only 24 hours out of the last one.
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