Our relationship has changed, she flirts with other guys, and does not talk to me as much as we used to, should I be worried that she doe not care anymore or what?

A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

my girlfriend and i have been together for 4 months, we had been though alot and even an unplanned pregnancy (she got an abortion which was a mutural decision and i went through the process with her but i favored having the abortion more and put it out there when we first found out, it was rude and uncaring i know) things were going great and we would spend all our free time together, we declared our love for eachother but about 2 weeks later she wanted to break up, she said we wont have time for eachother when school starts (we live about 30 mins away from eachother) and we should break up because it is enevitable. she also started flirting with this other guy, texting him all day, she had said "friendly flirting" she didnt tell me about it but i had snooped at her phone, found out and called her on it. we would break up over the phone but when i say lets meet up and we'll talk about it. i usually go meet her up (sometimes have make up sex) and then things are back to normal when i see her. i took her out to lunch and asked her whats up with us and she had said "im not feeling you as much as i use to" since then i had taken her out on dates just to show her how much we connect and how much fun we have, she said "when im with you i like you so much". and we eventually declared our love to eachother again. anyway so now we hardly talk on the phone anymore like we useto and when i text her she only texts back simple replies (i think meybe she has still been "talking" to that one guy still but i dont ask or snoop, since i'd be pretty jelous) i understand girls usually flirt because they crave the attention, but im also feeling that meybe she doesnt really think of me when im not there (why she doesnt call me much) but we have also both been pretty busy but she useto always find time to talk or text me. when we first broke up i think meybe the pregnancy had scared her on being tied down, and also i would call her alot when she was out with her friends (til 230am sometimes) but she didnt like talking on the phone or texting very short replies (she says its rude). anyway sorry for this being so long but am i feeling unreasonable? should i start talking with other women to meybe make her jelous? stop calling her as much and see if she'll call me? she asks me if i trust her and i say i do but im not sure if shes crossing any lines with the other guy) also how should i, or should i even confront her without acting jelous? i do love her and when im with her i know she loves me too. but when not together i feel really distant. now we see eachother about once or twice a week and talk meybe once a day. any advice?

View related questions: abortion, broke up, flirt, text

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A female reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 August 2008):

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