A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for over two years now and it started out as the greatest thing I could ever want. He would do anything for me, and me for him. He would always tell me how much he loved me and couldn't believe he found someone like me. He is my best friend that I have still ever had and I really do love him. I would spend every waking moment with him and would love every minute of it.However, for about the last year I've been slowly pulling away. Not on purpose but there are many contributing factors. First, he is a little controlling when it comes to guys. I make friends so much easier with guys than I do with girls so I originally gave up all my friends for him with no problem. I want to have friends again, which means I will have to talk to guys. I already do, I even hang out with guys, I don't cross ANY lines what-so-ever though which is what he would assume. 2nd, he wants to have a family as soon as we are out of school. I want to see the world and live a little before I settle down for the rest of my life.Also, I'm a little independent and I like to spend time by myself. If I'm not with him, he nags me and doesn't understand why I have better things to do. Spending time with him has become boring for me. All he wants to do is physical stuff and I'm bored and annoyed of it. I don't even like to kiss him. That's all our relationship is to him anymore. He constantly calls me and wants to know what I'm doing. I ignore them all the time.(Almost done) In the past all of this was fine by me, I didn't mind any of it. I was thrilled. Now it's a problem and the worst part is is he doesn't see a thing wrong. He's completely happy. He doesn't really think about things as I do. He hasn't noticed any change. I don't know if I have the effort left to try and fix everything, or to just start with a clean slate. I do love him still, and I can't hurt him. Exspecially since he thinks everything is perfect. I couln't live with myself. The only option seems that I have to somehow fix it, but I don't know what to do. How can I be so sick and tired but still care so much?
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male
reader, timbo +, writes (30 July 2009):
Hi, it sounds like he's been smothering you and over time you've become annoyed with it. In a good relationship both people need to have time alone or with friends doing their own thing. It is what makes us complete. Everyone has different needs that have to be met to be complete. Try talking with him about it in those terms. If he started doing things with and without you he'll be a better person and you will both probably be happier too. Good luck !
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