A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone? I would really appreciate othet opinion's on this as maybe I am being too sensitive. Here goes... I got married 2 years ago now- the first year we were living with my in laws and it had a massive strain in our marriage. His mother always bad talked me to my husband and my husband never once defended me. She would put me down and my family down to the point where I had to start yelling back. She would always nag when we went out and wanted us at home most of the time. It put my husband and I in a very bitter place with each other. But we got over that hurdle and eventually moved out. However, even after we have moved out she still fills his ears with bad stuff about Me. I know when he's been speaking to her as he's really horrible towards me. I have spoken to him about this but he keeps saying yeah OK whatever! You're jelaous of my mum.To add to that in the last 4 months every time I have suggested to go out or bring a spark back to our marriage by going away or having date nights he's always found an excuse not to do it. Our sex life has been pretty much non existent unless I get on top and initiate it. To be honest it has been like that since marriage. He seems disengaged from me and is not there for me emotionally or physically. He once said out of anger I should have never married you and done what I brother did and waited for the right one. That really hurt as I thought he loved me. But the following day he told me he said that out of anger and how much he really does love me. He says it but his actions don't prove that he trying to make this marriage work. he mostly stays at home and occasionally on a Friday goes out with his work friends for drinks. Prior to marriage we used to be fun and exciting.. go out and explore new places. But since marriage it's all gone stale. Unless I plan and book stuff (which he still moans about) we never do anything. I honestly don't know where to go from here. I've tried to talk to him so much about this but he says I'm nagging him and that if I want to go out I should go with my friends. What can I do . Please advice
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moved out, sex life, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (3 July 2019):
Ask him this question....
What have you done to make our marriage better??? Would you say any other wife would be jealous of me because you treat me so...??? If you cannot make the wrong woman happy, how did you plan to make the right one happy??
There is no such thing as the right woman, nor the right man. You have proven that to me. Yet in spite of your resentment towards me, I have done my part of a good wife and love you. If you cannot love me when I am being good to you, how are you going to love any other woman who is good to you??
You do not love me because you do not love yourself. You allow others to control your emotions, rather than feeling for yourself. Even if you divorced me right now, I know I have done my part to love you. I have been a wife still waiting for the man I married to be my husband.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2019): You poor woman! Even when you first got married and lived with your inlaws, it was impossible for you to let go and have the orgasms that you need so badly. Your husband is a drama queen! That mom of his has turned him into a two faced gossipy bitch. He is a mamas boy of the worst kind. When he said he should have waited for the right one, like his brother did, he really meant that he should have waited for the girl that his bossy mom would approve of, like his brother did. His life is hell too, of his moms making. He is such a wuss though that rather than stand up for his wife, he will knuckle under to his hate filled mom! I would dress up sexy as hell! Tight dress no bra no panty wear hold ups and heels. Then tell him to get dressed and take you out! Then flat out tell him that if he cannot spice it up again, and give it to you three times a week, that the divorce papers are coming soon, and that some fortunate man will be filling you with miles of what you crave, measured six inches at a time! And mean it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2019): This is coming from someone who really believes that tough times can be worked out in a marriage: but I think your marriage is over. :(
It takes two to fix things, and I think he’s not even really truly acknowledging there’s a problem to begin with, and to make matters worse he is belittling you. True partners have each other’s back, and unfortunately he does not have yours.
He is not willing to change. Don’t waste any more of your time and life on him, you’re still young. Imagine fifty more years like this! Even being alone and single is better than this mental hardship.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (30 June 2019):
 Thats just horrible! Horrible horrible horrible. "I should have never married you and done what I brother did and waited for the right one." Is beyond nasty and maybe something you your self should give some serious thought to. Did you marry the right man? Easier said than done but maybe its time to move on because to suggest any form of counselling probably isn't going to help because it seems he wouldn't even go so your on your own with no support or answers. Two years is a fair amount an investment but not worth another when things are like this. His mother needs to back the hell off what she is doing and him allowing is just wrong! How do you see things ever changing when you have to battle him and his family. Life is far too short to have to waste trying to fix things you cant. Hopefully you dont have kids at this point.
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