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Our Ldr feels awkward, I'm afraid to lose her. What can I do?

Tagged as: Faded love, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 October 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been in a LDR for 4 months now. She's older than me by a year, I won't disclose ages. Recently, my girlfriend said that she can't handle the distance because she worries too much. She wanted to take a break for a while. About an hour later, she said that she can't leave me and wants to let the situation go.

She's always shown me that she's loved me, I've shown her the same by making her things, writing her letters, etc. She says that she's never loved anyone like me, and I told her the same.

Since then, she's been acting a bit distant with me. Her relationship status on facebook has yet to change back to what it was before, but she tells me that we're still together and I still have her.

She talks to me every morning, and all throughout the day without fail. She cancels plans to talk to me. Whenever we can, about every 1-2 days, we speak over the phone.

She gave me her password to her email a while back, and I was suspicious of her because we had (but resolved) some trust issues. I checked her email and saw her talking to another guy over facebook and email. She calls him at night, and I'm guessing she calls him instead of me.

I know I shouldn't have checked, but I was falling apart.

As we still talk, she still tells me she loves me and she still speaks of plans for the future. She embraces my family and friends, yet shes clearly (very clearly) flirting with this other guy without telling me.

We still speak as normal, but things feel a bit awkward.

I love her to death, my deepest love yet, and I'm afraid to lose her.

What can I do?

I'm going insane putting up with her new excuses and lies, but she still tells me she loves me. I have noticed her getting a little edgy lately and she yells at me.

Help...

View related questions: a break, facebook, flirt

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

She said she'll do anything to be my everything, and she calls me at night more often now, yet tonight I know after she talked to me all day (and for a few minutes on the phone), she called the other guy.

She said she was going to sleep, but I saw a sent email from tonight with some pictures (nothing revealing, pictures i've seen myself)

From their email conversations, it doesn't seem like he's into her, and she doesn't seem as into him as me.

I don't know what to think, she still sends me poems and says she loves me, and she acts normal but it's clear she has some interest in him.

I can't leave her, I just love her too much. I can't tell her I checked her email, and she said she'll always be faithful to me (today actually).

How can I get her to tell me the truth?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009):

maybe she's lonely, and u arent always there to talk to her, so she needs a friend, even though its a guy.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2009):

You're going to lose her. To be honest, it sounds like she wants to split. She's flirting with another guy, lying, making calls to this other guy. LDR's are very hard to maintain if one person is not wholly committed, and she's not. Let her go, find someone else who will love you and commit to you. End it and don't keep in contact. Let's face it, if she loved you that much, it wouldn't be this way.

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