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age
51-59,
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writes: Need answer quick. My boyfriend and I have a former friend in common, a female, who I believe wanted to date him. She is jealous of our relationship and before I got involved with him, she was highly upset to learn that I wanted to date him. So much so that she told me that she wished there was something she could do to stop it. One day she came up to me and said, "He's a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater." Well, fast forward 9 months, I asked my boyfriend about his past, had their been any infidelities. He told me of one and we've both moved past this. Now the issue. She has just announced she's moving into his neighborhood, right in his subdivision. Tho a couple of blocks away, she announced it "in ----'s neighborhood" out loud in our office when both my boyfriend and I were out. I found out from a co-worker. My boyfriend was extremely annoyed at this, but is the type of person to try and not look negatively at things. He said he doesn't think she is stalking him, that this is a neighborhood that keeps her kids in the same school district and the houses in his subdivision are being offered dirt cheap right now. Now my question. Should I fill him in on the rotten thing she said to me to get me not to date him so he knows her intentions were to have him for herself. I want him to know that she is not innocent here. The way she approached me that day was so adamant, and she raised her voice as she said, "He's a cheater!" She was not saying this to protect me because she told me he was her best friend. He never felt this way about her, in fact he didn't think they were that close. But she took the friendship the wrong way. Every time she'd get a text from him, she had this look of love in her eyes. I just want my boyfriend to know how she acted. There's already rifts. She barely speaks to either of us, but I think she's got something up her sleeve. Why am I asking if I should reveal this info to my boyfriend? I don't want my boyfriend to look at me in a bad light. On the other hand, I want him to know that every personal thing he told her, she ran to me with and then tried to use it against him. But is there a chance I'd lose him because he'd think it's lowering myself to her level if I said something? I am trying to put myself in his shoes and I think I'd want to know something like this and I don't think I'd hold it against someone for letting me know somebody was a snake. Please help!
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best friend, cheap, co-worker, jealous, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Yes I do, like I said I wouldn't say anything. If she's up to no good, I think he'll figure it out sooner or later.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis former friend of ours has not said this about him cheating to anyone but me and I believe she only said this to me because she did not want me to date him and she thought it was her only defense.
My question is do you guys/ladies think that it will make me look bad to my boyfriend to tell him that she is underhanded in this way?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 December 2009):
I wouldn't say anything to him at this point. I think people's true colors eventually come out so if I were you I'd just sit back but keep your eyes open. I hope you and the boyfriend have a Merry Christmas.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Okay, first of all dont have any contact with this woman and ask your bf not to have contact with her either because she is causing problems by spreading lies about him. Tell you love him and trust him and dont like hearing her telling everyone that he is a cheater.
If she turns into the stalker.. well get a restraining order against her...
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