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female
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anonymous
writes: My friend Jacey is 17 and a junior in high school. She recently started dating a 15 year old freshman named Scott. Me and 3 of my other friends think he's totally and completely wrong for her because he's the stalker type and wrote notes to my friend Kisha telling her he wants to have sex with her. I want to break them up because I know she doesn't really care about him and he's a real freak. He's very egotistical and all he knows how to do is talk. His talking actually got him sex once with his ex and i don't want Jacey to do something that she may regret. I know she's smarter than that but she's been having judgement lapses lately and might do almost anything. What should me and my 3 friends do? Should we try to break them up or not?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (27 March 2006):
 Yes she is your friend, but she can obviously see something she likes in this guy that you can't. That doesn't mean she is blind to it or she is going to be taken advantage of. It just means she likes him and enjoys spending time with him. Leave them alone and mind your own business. If you are so sure they will break up then it will happen when it happens. If you try to break them up you will push them closer together.
Back off.
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2006): Recognize that every effort you make to drive them apart has a good chance of forcing them closer together. Seriously, in these cases your meddling will only aggravate the situation. No matter how sincerely bad you think he is for her, she will perceive your advice as jealous and nosey. You can't reason with people about their dating, because people aren't at all rational in relationships. Diagrams, logic, and rhetoric are all useless - all you can do is wait for her feelings to change. Rest assured that if he really is such a creep that she'll figure it out on her own soon enough. At THAT point feel free to jump in and co-bitch about him. Then she'll be extremely appreciative. If I remember correctly, the average junior high relationship lasts about 3 weeks anyway.
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