A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, im madly in love with my boyfriend of 7 months, when we got together i told him i was looking for a husband not just abit of fun, he was fine with this, our first weeks together we talked about our future, our wedding, our house, our children, everything and he said although he had been with a girl for eight years before me he never felt for her the same way he does about me and he could never talk about those things with her. i really do believe he loves me by the things he does for me and just so much. BUT i cant get him to talk to me about how he feels about me, he has never said he loves me and i dearly want to hear it from him. I also want to feel that like he wants me all the time and often when we are out with his mates i dont get this
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Good lord...apologies for the spacing errors, reader! I think I am overdue for a new keyboard! :) lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Gosh the Aunts on this page have given you wonderful advice. Take note of what they are saying. It sounds like you are more 'in love' with this guy's potential than him-the person with all his good traits and human quirks ? And even if you disagree with that statement, perhaps he might see it this way? Deejuliet is right on when she states that seven months is not long enough to establish a lifetime future with anyone, no matter what others say. While I think it's honest and forthright, that you told your bf that you were looking for a more exclusive relationship "hopefully and possibly" leading to a future, I am wondering how the topic of marriage and children was discussed? Was it just a general, everyday discussion, sharing thoughts and getting each other's viewpoints on these issues or was it actually...you and him talking over the plans for your future together? There is a big difference. Firstly, if you discussed it generallyjust to feelout each other's opinions, , then that's okay. This is how we get to know the person we 'might' want to spend a future with but at beginning stages, this is a 'just getting to know you' phase. If you both were super infatuated and passionate feeling consumed you both in the beginning, and this discussion was based on plans to get married to 'him and have babies, with him' then that was way too soon. The problem now,is that your relationship with him is leveling off, it's becoming more real. He does care, but he realizes that your talks about marriage and babies was too soon, so he's just backing off a bit. You should do the same. Forcing him to say he loves you sounds needy and desperate and that is not an attractive quality in women..men get turned off. Women do too, when men jump the gun like this, in relationships. But this guy is thinking clear headed and maturely. You should too. Slow this down a notch and just relax. He may really, really like you-he may really, really desire and wants to be with you, he's just not at the same stage as you are and he's realized that. Take heart, and see this through, though. He just needs more time and he needs to buildmoreof asolid base with you. Be strong, be positive and son't pressure him. He will let you know, when he's ready.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (7 August 2007):
 Talk about putting the cart before the horse! You were planning your wedding and talking about your future children when you had only known him a few weeks?!! This was the infatuation stage and the getting to know you stage. You need to get to know someone and spend a LOT of time with them to fall in love and THEN talk about marriage, etc.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (7 August 2007):
 My bf's best friend didn't tell someone he went out with that he loved her until they were engaged. Some people fall in love quickly, others don't. It just depends on the person. I agree with the first answer. Be patient. Take things slow. It hasn't even been a year yet. But I feel for you with how he won't even talk to you about his feelings for you. I mean he could at least say "I like you" or "I like you a lot" or "you are special to me" or something. I mean he doesn't HAVE to say I love you, but it would be nice if he would at least clarify exactly what he feels for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): If I were him I'd run a mile!
7 months together and you're pressing him about marriage? Take your foot off the gas and apply the brakes darlin'!
A guy will sometimes talk about starting a family to impress his current conquest and to get her between the sheets, but it's obviously backfired on him.
Back off and take one day at a time!
Phil
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