A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night i attempted to have sex with a guy i really like, he was hard at first and then he was only semi-hard, so we couldnt do anything. Then to top it off my friend almost walked in on us and he said "Well that just ruined it all together" and we both got dressed again. He told me he felt like shit, and that this happened with his ex too. And a few other girls. Then we just cuddled and talked for the rest of the while i was there. When i was leaving he said "Text me later if you want" and kissed me. Do you think it was something i did, or something else?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm not underage, im nineteen. When i made the account i put in the wrong year.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): First of all, you are underage so , legally, you shouldn't be having sex yet. In my opinion, it's too young anyway, as sex is a very mature act.I'm in my mid twenties,so i'm around ten years older than you, and i only just now feel ready for doing it !. Secondly, it's not a good idea to have sex when there are other people around. If you do try again, make sure you are completely alone. As for what this guy said, i think he was just nervous and embarrassed because someone had walked in on you both.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 well if you dont kno what you did no one else could know we wherent there it would have been even more awkward oh im so funny, any who look it was your first time it got a little bungled your guy is probably bashing his head on a wall feeling like an idiot, but theres good news he still has a penis so you can try again if you want. Or ths could be Gods way of letting you kno he doesnt want that little boy sticking his rod or staff any where near you because your to damn young to be screwin around. my advice read everything you cna on babies stds and ask your parents for permission because if anything hapens to you its there fault/responsibility
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): I think that the best response from him upon being interrupted could have been more understanding of your situation. Had he said, "Baby, I'm sorry, but this seems to be the wrong time and/or place to get something started. You deserve my full attention when this happens. Can we put this off until we can really spend the time to enjoy each other?" He wasn't in to you as much as you had hoped. Keep it together and wait for the right time and place for those intimate moments, otherwise you'll end up feeling like a ho.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): Nope, this is not about you. First, he's likely very nervous, as it appears as if you two have not made love before, so your a new lover to him. Second, it sounds as if the location was not secure, so he's not only worried about pleasing you, but on getting caught (how old are you two anyway?). Combined, this can been a boner killer and guys can loose an erection under these circumstances.
It sounds as if you played this RIGHT... when this happens, be supportive, cuddle, talk- and tell him you're looking forward to the next time...
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A
male
reader, danksaur +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Well I had the same problem once with a girl I was extremely interested in and I couldn't stay hard for some reason. It had nothing to do with her it was a personal problem with me. I think the important things to look at here is the fact that he cuddled and talked to you while you were there which shows that he wasn't there just for the sex but that he was interested in you. I don't think that the problem had anything to do with you but you may want to try and find out why he cant stay hard and explore different ways to help his situation.
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A
male
reader, justinthyme1954 +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Dear Anonymous,
The quick answer is, "No, it was not something that you did." Based on what you shared, it appears that the guy you were attempting to have sex with does have some performance issues. Some guys have difficult getting "hard." Alot of it has to do with stress.
By the way your guy reacted to being semi hard and then nothing he was blaming himself for not being able to have sex with you. For some guys they get so stressed and anxious that they psych themselves out. Sometimes no matter what a guy does, he cannot get hard and cannot complete the act.
I think it was great that you cuddled and talked and supported him. I would text him and keep in touch. It sounds like you have a connection and who knows the next time might have a better result.
Hang in there!
justinthyme1954
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A
male
reader, tlk107 +, writes (11 January 2010):
It sounds like he was nervous, and maybe he was nervous because he had been embarrassed during sex before. Don't worry. The first time I attempted sex, I was really hard but then she said, "Are you ready?", and as I went for it, I went completely limp again. It just happens.
The next time will be much, much better. I can pretty much guarantee it.
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