A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a serious relationship for 9 yrs wid a guy frm my college. But now when v decided to get married, v gt to know dat both our families do not support dis marriage as there is some very old relation wid both our families. By that, they say me and my boyfriend become brother and sister. Dats d reason, our families do not support dis marriage. Now v hv decided to let go and do wat our families want coz even if v get married den his family wont except dis marriage and me. I m trying to move on in lyf but i still do love him and dont know whether i will b able to spend my lyf wid any other person dat my parents choose for me. My boyfrnd says dat he wont leave his family for me.what should i do
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female
reader, Tottochan +, writes (2 October 2015):
Really sorry to hear that.. 9 years is a really long time. But is there any way that you could convince the families? From the problem that you have mentioned, I feel that you are from the North - you could tell them that in the South, there is absolutely no problem with such marriages. And if the relation is so distant that after 9 years only you found out about it, then why is it such a big deal?
However, even to reason or argue with both the families, the support of your boyfriend is very necessary. Tell him that you are not asking him to go against his parents and elope with you, but if he really values the 9 years that you both spent together, then he can at least attempt to make this work.
All the very best. Do let us know what happens.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (1 October 2015):
Even in terms of going against your family wishes, if your boyfriend says that he wont leave his family for you then there isn't much you can do from here. Even if you convince him to leave them, in the back of his mind, he would come to resent you for the choice he had to make.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (1 October 2015):
 If your boyfriend says he won't leave his family for you, you have no choice but to move on.
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