A
female
age
41-50,
*antstastic
writes:Hi All,I am broken up with a man I love dearly. We had a lot of problems in our relationship but have remained friendly. In fact, our breakup has been pretty good on the surface, no crying fits, no neediness. We hang out occasionally and have good friendly times. We were really close for ten years before we dated. Problems in our relationship stemmed from living situation and over working and just bad timing. we have both been doing alot of work on ourselves over the last four months. I want to have a conversation about our past relationship letting this man know that I am aware of all the areas I have gone wrong...he has been good about letting me know what he did wrong. I would like to try the relationship again but I am nervous that he wont want to. We have such a good friendship, I dont want to ruin that but I do want something more with him. He contacts me frequently asking silly questions and I contact him. When we hang out our conversation remains light hearted and superficial. I want to initiate a more meaningful conversation but am nervous and need tips. Please help me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): He may want the relationship to, but also is fearful like you.
Even though he speaks about his mistakes, is he correct? Does he state what he should have done? Do you chime in and tell him what you would have wanted him to do, and not some simplistic response, but a road map to the heart?
When your both talking again, be prepared with a topic that you want to get out. There has to be interaction from both of you. If you say you were bad, explain it from the heart. Then ask how do you feel about it, how did you feel when I said or did that. This will help you realy connect, and the love could grow. By doing so, you reveal more about who you are and what you need. Without this type of communication, we start assuming the other should know, but if you've never discussed to this depth, the other will never really know.
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