A
male
age
51-59,
*rman
writes:The first 4 months of our relationship my girlfriend was on the nuva ring birth control. She let me know early that she hated it and that she gained weight and lost sexual desire while on it. She is 24 and has two kids already from a guy who is barely in the picture and does not contribute at all. We decided to use condoms and she would go off the nuva ring. Her sex drive and energy was higher after.I was just broken up with for the second time in the last four months. Both times were when she was 6 to 8 days late on her period. Leading up to both she seemed very unhappy and had zero affection towards me. The first time was after we had only been dating for 4 months and I let my insecurities get the best of me and made the mistake of asking what was wrong too many times, leading to her needing time to think and I was bad at that too with texts and calls wanting a relationship update. Finally I gave her a week without contact and she texted asking me not to hate her. That opened a window of communication leading to me coming over for dinner. We talked about my crowding her when she needed space and came to the conclusion that we would always communicate and not let things build up. The same time of the next two months she seemed unhappy but I didn't let it bother me thinking it's the hormonal thing so I gave her space while doing all the little things to create time for her. Friday we had her Mom watch the kids and had date night. It was an awesome night talking about our future including kids, marriage etc. She had been moody the two days prior but she said she just needed a night out and that she was late for her period again and felt sad and upset for no reason. Saturday morning we had breakfast at a friends, bringing her 1 and 3 year old kids with us "who I adore and have fallen in love with as well". I played with the kids the whole time and had some really cute moments with them...I let it bother me that I noticed not even a smile from her during these warm fuzzies.. so I messed up and said "I'm not gonna let u put me in a crappy mood" She freaked out said that was a mean thing to say and just needed the rest of the day to herself. I thought that was a good idea until after that day she broke up with me saying she doesn't think she is ready or wants to be in a relationship right now. She can never pin point any deal breaker moment saying she just doesn't know? I love her so much and if in a week she says she wants me back I'm there... But what about next month? And how do I get her to realize this is chemical and not me everytime? I'm soo sorry this was pretty much a run on sentence but I didn't want to leave much out.
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broke up, condom, period, sex drive, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, arman +, writes (27 April 2009):
arman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate the responses. I'm just completely confused and depressed. The difference in just one day of how she felt about our relationship tortures me to no end! By now the time apart would help open the lines of communication, but it's the opposite and I don't get where the resentment and coldness comes from?? I wish I had a time machine to fast forward to a time when this won't hurt soo much.
A
male
reader, arman +, writes (25 April 2009):
arman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionToday I called and asked if I could come by this weekend and pick up the rest of my stuff and love that the kids would be there the same time so I could see them. She said I could come by, but without the kids there, 'cause they had been asking about me all week and wanted to give it more time for them to get used to me not there all the time'...broke my heart for two reason's, one because I miss them soo much and wanted to see them and second because it was that much more her ending things. I'm crazy hopeful still... all because of her ending up missing me and doubting her decision the last time. I'm scared that it's not gonna happen again.. what do I do?
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A
male
reader, ALONSO80  +, writes (23 April 2009):
it may not be the hormones, she might be a little bipolar, or just under lots of stress (single mom with two kids isnt easy). You are in a relationship to try to be happy, breaking up and making up again isn't healthy for none of you. Find someone who doesn't have the drama, you can still be her friend and be there if she needs you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Sounds like she is suffering from PMS - she needs to see her dr so that he can help prescribe something to help with the mood swings.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Well it does sound like hormones, it could even be depression! She needs to see a doctor and get help! If she does ask to see you again then don't agree to it until she gets help for her hormones! And she needs to sort out these swings of moods out! If you agree to go out with her without setting out guidelines for the prevention of this happening again, you will be setting yourself up to get dumped again because she is going to think that she can get away with it! X
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