A  ,
*ambelina
writes:Urgent help needed – The clock is ticking for me…Please could someone take the time to help me? I am 22 year old female and have been in a relationship with a 20 year old male for the past 18 months. We have spent so much time together and were like best friends – it’s as though we were made to be with each other because we’re such a perfect fit… He was there for me through a horrible period of depression and put up with all of my mood swings and I’ll never forget the things he used to do for me to take care of me. Last summer we decided to move away from London to start a whole new life of our own. Things were difficult financially (as they usually are when you first start out on your own with someone) but we stuck together and things were coming together. We loved our new area and new life and both had good jobs. I found out I was pregnant and he was so happy about it – even more so than I was initially!! The idea of us becoming parents terrified me! I hit 6 months in December 07 and we were having a petty argument one night (by far NOT one of the worst that we’ve had in the past either!!) and he just said that he wanted to move back to London. Just like that – out of the blue. No prior planning on his part, it just happened. He was going back to a family that he didn’t really get on with and giving up the good career he had started for himself and the little family he had made for himself for nothing. My family were as shocked as I was because we had always seemed so ‘set’ together and like me, they would have never seen it coming. I was of course, devastated and managed to pull through with my family’s wonderful support and found a new place to live and a job to last until my maternity leave.I didn’t make any contact with my ex at all – in my mind that was it for us. His actions had said that he didn’t want any part of mine or his son’s life (it’s a boy by the way!!) I didn’t hear from him until after Christmas and New Year, and then on New Years Day he contacted me saying how sorry he was and how stupid he was for the decision he had made and that he’d done it all out of anger one night and that he couldn’t believe how much he had ruined everything. He said he’d do whatever he could to get it back. I refused to see him for another month and was reeling in shock that I’d heard from him at all again. Then one day I agreed to see him so that we could talk things over before the baby’s arrival and get it out of the way. When I picked him up at the station, he looked hideous! He’d lost so much weight, hadn’t shaved or had his hair cut in so long and he stank of cigarettes. He looked gaunt and hollowed out and exhausted. Over our talking things out I told him he needs to go to a Doctor and as someone who had suffered from depression myself, I knew what it looked like! He did go to the Dr and it turned out I was right and he is now on medication. He said that may be why he had pushed me away before because he suspected he may have had it for a long time before he realised. He started a good job back in London that week too but insisted that he wanted to come and see me every weekend until he had earnt enough money to pay off any debts (only about 2k) so that we could start from scratch living together again as a family and plans on coming to me as soon as he possibly can. He calls me every day and constantly tells me how much he loves me, how he cannot wait to be with me and even suggested that we go to a solicitor and write up a contract which said if he ever left again that he could no longer have access to me and his child ever again because he’s that certain he wouldn’t do it again.I love him very much and he has a good heart, but neither of our families don’t want us to be together and I feel as though he’s getting himself into something way too young… But ultimately, although I’d love to try for the “mum, dad and baby” little family I had in my head all along, I don’t know how I can ever trust him again or whether it’s the right thing for the child who is due very soon! What do I do? Do I risk it and try it as a family, or do I try and raise my son on my own for fear of his father running out on us again? Thanks so much for your time xx
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 You need all the support you can . Being a single parent can be very hard .
Give him another chance and think positive and not negative.
Live in the present and don't worry about the future.
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