A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:umm ok so me and my bf are really really close. and we've done just about everything...except sex. we tried the other nite and...hes huge...and i think i was to tight. both of us r virgings...i dont kno what to do. it was really emabrassing. i was to tight. i didnt kno there was such a thing.what do i do?
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female
reader, LovesJamie  +, writes (11 September 2008):
Hello,I know I'm younger than you and you probably think I probably don't know much but sex is the only thing that me and my boyfriend haven't done.Some of the reasons that you might find it hard is because you don't do enough foreplay so your not wet enough. Also because when your nervous your vagina tightens up. Try using things called vaginal cones, they come in different sizes and when your alone in the bathroom or bedroom just try to use them in the same way you would a tampon so that your body can get used to something coming near your vagina and doesn't tighten up.Then when you are ready get your boyfriend to finger you, first with one then two and if you want to do three.Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): what you can do is when you are sexually excited let him finger you for a long time ... with one then two then three fingers... then try and see if it fits...
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A
female
reader, sophie1956 +, writes (9 September 2008):
I experienced this , for months. It's horrible i know.
Make sure you use a condom or you're on the pill, do lots of foreplay to make sure you're really turned on. And just relax :)
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (9 September 2008):
 ok first unless you dont want to become pregnant i hope your on the pill before having sex..now thats the details out of the way lets deal with the problem..ok since it is your first time buy some lubricant durex is a good brand if you are using condoms if not still good choice..you need to be relaxed or your going to tense up and make it harder so just relax and have fun, make sure their is plenty of foreplay use the lubricant too get yourself prepared as such as your body produces lubricant sometimes it falls short so try and relax use lubricant foreplay then go slowly when you start intercourse it will hurt the first time a little but the more you do it the better you will become but be slow and gentles is the key..hope this helps aphexy xx ps lots of people experience this :)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 September 2008):
 To be truthful, you two are mainly just too inexperienced, not to mention legally too young. But I understand - abstinence is nothing more than wishful thinking by adults 90 percent of the time. It meant nothing to me either - beginning about 45 years ago. LOL
But "huge" is a relative term. Although even Kama Sutra devotes a good deal of advice regarding preferred matching between partners, even petite women can usually adapt to rather large men's genitals - but it may take patience AND more experience. For instance, Many Asian women are quite petite and often not the best fit for above average American men, but it can workfine with adequate foreplay to trigger plenty of natural lubrication (the best way) followed by very slow insertion. The foreplay (such as maybe 15 minutes or more of cunnilingus) does more than lubricate - it also physically readies the vagina to accept insertion because the cervix retracts and the vagina loosens. Artificial lubes do not accomplish that, although water-based lubricant may also help. But the main thing in my experience is very patient insertion - just the head at first, then wait . . . slowly move in-and-out just a bit, then gradually insert just a little more - an inch or so at a time. Most men want to get it in there way too fast for a tight or petite woman, especially a virgin, but that's where experience is invaluable. Please still be protected if you insist on early sexuality.
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A
male
reader, tonyfromnewyork +, writes (9 September 2008):
Hi There,There are several things you can do.The first I'd suggest is to make sure you are ready for sex.... there are several components to sex which typically ensure sex can occur if you are. 1. which is normal lubrication and 2. a fully erect partner; these two components typically work with one another and allow for sex to occur successfuly.If you are comfortable and ready to have sex and unable you can of course resort to lubricants such as KY, AstroGlide, etc which will empower the two of you to engage. Be sure to use lubricants that are rubber friendly. Some lubricants break down rubbers and would negate the affects of safe sex practices. Its also important for many couples to engage in foreplay prior to sex; these moments before sex can help move enough fluids from the vaginal canal to the labia which again will help with insertion. Through finger foreplay one can gently stretch/prepare the vagina for sex. Engaging in some of these events will encourage the probability of sex occuring properly. I was in a similiar situation when I first started having sex. The next time we tried having sex things worked out fine. No need for any lubricants or anything else. I'd suggest you work with one another at making love rather than having sex. Best of luck!Let me know if this helped.~Tony
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (9 September 2008):
Start with him fingering you with one finger then two and then finish with three. After that have him put a lot of lube on himself and that should help him slide in. It will always be a little uncomfortable to adjust to him when he first goes in but after a minute the pain should stop. Thats what me and my boyfriend do.
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