A
female
age
41-50,
*izzie80
writes:Just found out my OH (we've been married for 9 years and have a two year old daughter) has been texting other women for about 12 months. The texts are not explicit but do contain things like love you loads, hi sexy, you're so gorgeous. He says its part of a fantacy world he has built up whilst we have been going through a rough patch. Whilst i believe him when he say's he's never met the women so never been physical I still feel betrayed and think I will find it hard to trust him. What if we go through a rough patch again and someone offers it on a plate. How do we get past this
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 How do you get back trust? Very little at a time. First, I really strongly suggest that he says that he understood what he did was wrong. Unless he knows and understands there is no way he will ever stop.
Secondly what could he do that would show you that he has stopped? Think on that and ask him what he thinks.
It took me close to 2 years to forgive hubby's emotional affair but I still don't trust him 100% and it sucks. However HE is making the effort to show ME that I can trust him.
A
female
reader, Lizzie80 +, writes (10 March 2009):
Lizzie80 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your replies, I didnt know whether anyone else would think it was as big a deal as me. One thing I would like to ask is that you both is how to trust him again? Its only been 2 days since I found out and we have talked this to death, I do feel like we're making progress but cant help wondering if our relationship is forever tarnished.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 March 2009):
You need to be very open when you talk to him. Tell him how it feels and how you perceive this kind of contact. For instants do you see it as cheating or just plain wrong.
He needs to OWN up to it. You can not be in a relationship or marriage and court another woman. ( Not in my book at least).
Ask him if he is going to find a new women every time you two have a rough patch. Every marriage and relationship have those, it's how you work through them that either makes it stronger or break you up.
So talk to him. Calmly. Best thing you can do is sit down and write down what you want to say so it doesn't come out as accusatory.
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