A
male
age
36-40,
Neoloverboy23
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for eleven months and on March will be our anniversary, but what's eating me inside is the fact that I still have fears and my past relationships are making me a slave. Every time I think about what is my girlfriend up to and who is she with. She has always said to me to trust her. I went into her Facebook account last week and discovered that she was having a "relationship" with another guy and when I saw their messages, I was shocked, saddened, enraged, and I cried because I thought she was cheating on me. I remembered everything that has happened between her and I and I remembered the promises we made. I have done my very best to please her and I have kept up my promises. I have been faithful to her even if sometimes I go astray, but I still made sure that I know that I'm taken. When Typhoon Ondoy and Parma came, I cried because I was afraid to lose her. I called her and prayed to God that she would be alright, and when I finally gotten through, she and I had a heart-ton-heart talk and I felt relieved that she's alright. I confronted the guy on Facebook and written him an email telling him that's my girlfriend and I called her and she told me that it was a joke and that the guy was a high school friend of hers and he needed help with his relationship with his girlfriend because his girlfriend was not paying attention to him. If he was having problems with his girlfriend, they shouldn't have done that. It's ridiculous that they think it seemed so harmless, but they don't realize the damage of others! I was hurt and because of that it brought back the pain and sorrow that I had to endure and I tried to be the best boyfriend as much as possible. She said to me that she was so sorry and that she won't do that again. I explained to her how hurtful I was when I saw that, and she told me that I was the only one who she loves in her life and that I'm her future husband. She also said to me that if she didn't love me, then how come she introduced me to her family? Why did she gave me a necklace on my birthday? Why didn't she leave me if she didn't loved me? I kept pondering about those words that she said. She told me to trust her. The problem is that I'm like a detective; I look for the bad things in her all the time and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me when I know she's not with anybody around her. I even saw her photos with other guys and they were homosexuals and family members. I'm asking myself why can't I trust her, and then it hit me... If I keep on spying on her like a detective and trying to go inside her emails and social sites, then I would end up losing the only girl who ever even love and cared about me and has been devoted to me all the way. Even though she's been dealing with her problems, she has been faithful to me, yet it's because of my fears that I was afraid to lose her to other people, or her dying, or even raped. I love her with all my heart and soul. If I keep on being this way in twenty years, then the relationship would be bitter, dark, sorrowful, and painful. I don't want those bad things to happen. I'm willing to trust her so much and I would go all my way in treating her like a queen. I would be willing to die for this girl because she has become a part of me that I wouldn't let go. I love her with all of my heat because I know that if she didn't love me, she wouldn't be speaking to me or even appreciate me. It will take some time, but I know I can bet fear and bring myself back into being loving and caring. I have also realized that it will take some time to be able to bring back full trust once again and finally move on. I have done my best in stopping myself from leaving her because I have felt her heart like she does her's and I feel like she fully deserves a chance and the best care that she needs. I love you honeycake!
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female
reader, THE GOOD GIRL  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 Trust just must be there in a relationship. I for one, i never knew it, i never wanted it, but i want my man to trust me. i made a new email and chat wit my boyfriend, i stepped out of my self and said things i never would say, so he didnt know it was me. i really did want to know...and he said things to make me know he love me. but he agreed to meet (that person). i was so sad, i didnt talk to him for three days, and i told him after, i told him why and he Knew HE was wrong.. he tried his best to assure me that he would never do that. we left facebook, he is doing everything in his power to make me know that the love is there. i love his effort, i hope it last forever (clearly, i know it wouldnt) but he swears it would. life change, time change and pep change. Stil, trust just has to be maintained, it's the ONLY way you can set someone free, you dont have to drag them by chains to love you. you just have to let them loose and they'll walk alongside you like a faithful dog. (by the way) its just like walking your dog. you chain it because it is wild...having no trust is WILD LOVE...you have to chain it to keep it close, but then,the dog is captivated...and cannot operate in its full capability. but with love, it's supposed to be otherwise. i love this site, i get to express myself. i'm grateful. I'M STIL TRYING TO TRUST MY MAN though. and i know that problem is mine.
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