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anonymous
writes:
Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and is very much in love our only problem is sex. I find it very hard to orgasm and he can only get me to orgasm with a vibrater which we don't use it all the time. This is making him feel very inadicate and we do argue about it cuz this is normal for me. I still enjoy sex with out having a orgasm. I want to know if there is anything I can do or have done ?so we can both experience the same feeling together ,so he doesn't feel so inadicate. Please help A.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ashleyriley  +, writes (3 April 2009):
 I have the same exact problem. I'm 24 and my husband and I have been together for 5 years. I have only had a clitoral orgasam with him once. He is the only person to ever actually get me off. I have used a vibrator since I was 18, and It's the easiest and only way I can have a clitoral orgasam. A woman can orgasam 2 different ways. You can orgasam on the inside (vaginal canal) and clitoral. Having an orgasam 'inside' doesn't feel the same as having an orgasam by you clitoris. A clitoral orgasam is much more intense and satisfying....at least it is for me. My husband gives me a hard time about it, he thinks I've ruined my clit because of the vibrator. He never had a problem before me and thinks its just me. Actually only 28% of women achieve orgasam during intercourse. We are the norm....don't stress about it. You can always try putting up the vibrator for several months and actually relaxing during sex or foreplay, and you may get off. but...why wait months....just use a vibrator...thats what they're for!!!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Hi i have been with my wife for 5 years same as you no orgasm
i let her use her little toy during sex to help,
its not the best thing but i live with it .. my last relationship was the other way 3 to 4 orgasmes befour
me
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): I have the same problem, i climax on occasion but not always. I don't mind but my soon to be husband feels inadequate, which makes me feel HORRIBLE! it doesn't help that he's the only person i've ever had sex with. ive been doing a lot of research and have come to find out that is natural for ladies not to climax all the time. i think it may just be something that the gentlemen needs to get over and realize that it's not their fault either.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2006): I can only orgasm with the help of a vibrator also.
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A reader, F, writes (3 January 2005): A-I'm glad to hear you are in a loving relationship - this situation can only help the both of you, once you decide to let go. I have read that many women do not achieve orgasm regularly during sex - at least you feel free to relax with the vibrator. Perhaps you should get rid of it for awhile, and concentrate on how good your boyfriend feels inside. Try getting on top and go slow, grinding against him at your pace. This is my wife's favorite way of getting off, and she does so regularly after 17 years of marriage. I can feel my head nudging her G spot when I'm extra hard, and this really pushes her over the edge. If you relax with a glass of wine (as suggested by her doctor), perhaps this technique will be effective. My wife always finishes before I do, which makes me happy. Also, despite my protests, my wife has no use for me going down on her - she is never responsive to this and prefers to climb on top and ride me.Best wishes, and be patient with yourselves!
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