A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We are married for a year but we seldom have penetrative sex (almost none). My wife says its the trouble of her professional career (not finding a good job) thats putting her off sex. I have been co-operative but its getting on me now.. pls help.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Hi Hunny
She could have anything from infections due to stress or depression, This is unusual so hunny I would be very caring and try and get to the heart of the problem, she may have pain and is to scared to say anything. It sounds more like depression to me though love and that can lower both women and mens sex drive...Dr vendettas answer wasnt really helpfull sweetheart its more than just a quick blow job you need to help fix this prob....
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/lackingsexdrive.htm
I hope this helps hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): My wife and I have been together for 29 years and married for 22 years and still have sex 5 or 6 times a week. However, we are retired now and have no job stress in our lives. When we were both working, sometimes long hours, there were times when we only had sex 2 or 3 times a month. Stress and worries about job or money are a real killer of sexual desire. Perhaps that is nature's way of making sure that people don't have children at a time when they can't properly take care of them. Something programmed into the human brain.
Sex doesn't have to be absent in a marriage. Our sex lives have been up and down, depending on our stress levels and how we treated each other. Sometimes stress can make a person not treat his partner as well as he or she should. That will also be a killer of sexual desire.
This is not likely the case with your marriage, but some prescription drugs and some supplements can also lower sex drive. Anti-depressants, some high blood pressure drugs and others will lower sexual desire. Supplements like 5-HTP, which will work as an anti-depressant, also lower sexual desire.
Jess has given you some good ideas of how to relax her and hopefully get her into the mood. I would add that you should not just try to jump right into sex with her. That will not work unless you relax her and get her into the mood first. While lying in bed, talk to her about her concerns and try to be comforting in your understanding of her feelings. Try to make her feel more positive about her future and that at your ages there is a lot of time for her to grow in her career. My wife had a lot of trouble finding a good job after getting her college degree and it was a downer for her.
There will normally be sexual up and down periods over the years in marriages. They are caused by the type of thing that you are experiencing. Hopefully it will get better for the 2 of you soon. Sometimes sex takes a lot of work for both parties to help them forget the worries of life and find sex desirable.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (28 March 2008):
 How do you stop your girlfreind from giving you a blow job or sex?
You marry her.
enjoy married life buddy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Why don't you try giving her something to relax her, like a really sensual massage with candles and oils and calming music? Make sure its not an inconvenience, like if she has other things to do, tell her in advance. You could even cook her a meal beforehand as well! You could tell her that you know shes been under a lot of pressure lately so you want to treat her to something special, that way she knows to make sure shes not too busy and you give her a little excitement and anticipation if she doesn't know what you have planned. If a massage isn't convenient then maybe share a bath? Candles, scents and champagne and strawberries or something to that effect. This would bring you closer to her and rekindle some of the intimacy you may have lost and maybe if she feels more relaxed and sees how much effort you have gone to, she will want to have sex with you? Every woman loves to be swept off her feet, especially if she feels like shes been up against it recently. Good luck! xxx
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