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female
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anonymous
writes:Just wondering if anyone else is in the same position as me?...Im 25 and have only ever fell in love with one man. That was 5 years ago. I still love with all my heart although we are not together. We have dated a couple of times, each time only lasting around 6 months. We have never been really serious but my feelings for him are much stronger than for any other man I have had a relationship with. I dont know what it is about him. He is not exactly gorgeous and to be honest he was nasty to me on more than on occasion, in fact hes hurt me more than anyone ever in my life. But theres something there that I love, that Im addicted to and that I cant get out of my head. I absolutely loved having sex with him. We were extremely compatible in bed and now when I sleep alone at night I miss him so much. Ive read loads of things from people who still love their exes and stuff and the advice is always the same - time is a great healer. You will get over him/her in time. But no matter how much time passes between me and my ex he will always be the one that I wanna be with. Even if Im with someone new he would just have to say and I would go back to him. I feel like I will never stop loving him. So what Im wondering is is it possible to go on through life being in love with someone who you just cant be with? Can you go on and marry someone else and have children even though you dont love that person half as much as you did with the ex? Can you be truly happy if you never find anyone else who makes you feel like this again? If you never fall completely head over heels in love with someone again? Because Im almost 26 and I know in my heart I wont feel this type of love again for another man. So I would have to settle for someone who I didnt love as much. Is this a common situation? Will I be happy?
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female
reader, shjones97  +, writes (12 March 2009):
I am 2 in the same boat I settled for somebody I care about but not in love with now its been 6 yrs I am married and have a child by him but I cannot get my 1st love out of my head or heart and he is the father of my oldest child.....Trust me it will always be him and if possible exhaust all options to try and make it work with him it is very hard to be with someone physically when your heart is somewhere is.....Good Luck (p.s. I have been having an affair with my love for 3 yrs) have tried to stop but cant because I love him
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): I'm the same age. Its the same for me too. It will always be him. I settled without realising that I was settling and now I'm stuck. Do you follow your heart or your head??
Good luck, I know exactly how you feel.
x
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): I am funnily enough 25 and only ever been trully, whole heartedly in love with one man. My ex and I decided to break up because I am having issues with my self esteem so I can focus on me. Cos everytime he gets too close I deliberatley push him away. I know how you feel because I dont know whether he will wait for me. I know that this is a risk. By the way the sex is amazing on a deep meaningful way that I feel completely connected and comfortable with I dont feel concious.
But I too have been thinking I will never be trully happy if he doesnt come back and it hurt doesnt it. It a deep aching feeling that feels numb at times. I have been thinking do I find someone else when my heart is his. Or do I go it alone. And you are right when they say time is a healer because its been a long time and my heart hasnt changed. I even went away to forget but every evening before bed I would think about him and it would tear my heart up again.I just want you to know you are not alone. I sometimes envy people who can get over it.
Before my ex I settled for a guy because I didnt ever think I would find someone who actually liked me. It didnt really work we werent compatible.
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