A
female
age
36-40,
*epress
writes:iam a 23 year old woman who had slept with about 40 men and am not proud of it, but i cant seem to stop and i need help, i cant stay faithful to one man coz i have a six year relationship that is terrible and my partner cant seem to care and dont take care of me or give me attention which drives me to the hands of other men and i dont seem to think something is wrong with it but end up having remorse after the sex all the time. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, greg290352 +, writes (24 November 2009):
 You need to get rid of the boyfriend. However you are using sex as a way of escaping from your general unhappy state and also getting love and affection. Like other things sex can be an addiction. I did a similar thing when my first wife took my daughter and left me years ago.
Basically you need to find a guy who can make you feel good again and then the casual sex will stop. The casual sex is a symptom of how you feel. You need to build a more positive self image.
Good luck :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): Listen, cheating is usually a symptom of an unhappy, bad relationship. You live this life with this guy, so you know full well, how bad your relationship is. Wanting affection, love, attention is human. We all require that. But it seems you have gone 'compulsively' overboard in that journey to finding what you want. You could be a woman, who needs attention and a validation, that you are still desired and sexually attractive. Every human being needs affection but this relationship sounds like you both are mismatched in the 'affection' department. If you have communicated these 'needs' to him time and again and he's not forthcoming..why are you still in this dysfunctional relationship?
Now about the cheating. Every time you cheat, you look for that validation but end up, coming away feeling hurt and used. It's not working ...so why are you continually doing that to yourself . It's just making you sink into despair, all the more. Leave this relationship, get out and make good independent life of your own. But mostly what you need is a good dose of self-love, hun! You need to get your confidence, your self-esteem up to par, here. When you love yourself, you are strong, you are smart, you use rationale, you are confident and you set boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship and you will not need sex with other men to fill and empty place, in you. When you have self respect you expect to have a quality relationship with another, one with integrity. You know what you have to do...stop the cheating, move on to a new life and look after yourself here..because no one else is doing that for you, are they and they shouldn't be expected to...that's your job. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): If you are having trouble with your boyfriend, you should try to work it out with him. If that doesn't work out, then dump him and find someone else. There is no excuse for cheating, in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 November 2009):
So dump your boyfriend.
Find some self respect and then find a man who will treat you better.
Good Luck!! xx
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