A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First of all, I feel stupid for having the feelings I have - it's so easy for me to fall for someone, it's unbelievable but this girl lives about 6 hours from me and has a long term boyfriend. I feel like a fool for the way I feel about her.We have been chatting online for about a year after using the same internet forum and then moving on to chatting over aol instant messenger. We've been chatting for pretty much every day we've known each other, whilst we're both at work and at home - talking about general every day things and such. It never started out as an "online dating" thing, just friendly chat. We have also kept in contact via email whilst I've been on holiday and the same with her and not long ago started text messaging each other whilst we weren't online.She has a boyfriend, a long term boyfriend whom she lives with (a few years I think) but they apparently often have arguments and disagreements, but I'm not entirely sure of the severity. We recently met a couple weeks back for the first time when we went on a course together that we decided we'd both go on. I had fun, she seemed to have fun, but I've noticed some kind of distance from her conversation since we went back to our respective cities. She no longer texts me as much (she used to text "miss you" when I wasn't online much) and her conversation is short and quick. Now I know she could be extra busy at work and home but I just feel like ever since meeting, she's become more distant yet my feelings for her (feelings that I never had before we met) have developed and grown exponentially - I'm dying here! My guts are torn up, my chest aches, I've barely eaten a meal in the last 5 days! I hate these feelings I'm having but I can't help it.Given she has a boyfriend and I'm pretty sure nothing can really ever happen between us, should I tell her how I feel and end the friendship and attempt to get over her? The alternative is basically keeping myself in this soul destroying situation that's bound to get harder and harder! The things she's said in the past though, make me feel like she maybe liked me a bit - saying she wished we lived closer, how great it would be if we did etc etc. I was sorta okay with that - made me feel special, but it never really affected me. But since meeting I've had these feelings that aren't going away but getting worse by the day and are only supressed when we chat. So I feel like, as much as I like her as a friend, I need to end it for my own good - it's also affecting my mood at work.My question, however is - what's the likelihood that my feelings for her might not be one sided? Given what she's said in the past, is there any possibility that she has feelings for me, but after meeting me, realises this and is trying keep me at a distance for the sake of her realtionship with her boyfriend?I know this was super long winded, but thanks all the same.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): Well the way shes talking sounds exactly how my internet relationship started. We lasted 2.8 years. Very nice years at that. I think you should tell her. It sounds very similar to the sort of chat i use to do. we even got so far as the 'i love you stage' only i put it as a friend. was a tad annoying when i came to tell him i actually did love him. i had to .. elaborate a bit more lol. But good luck.
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