A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear uncles/aunts;I find myself getting slightly frustrated with some of my friends. Would like some opinions.I meet varied people from all over, travelling, work, hobbies etc, and every now and again I really meet someone I grow close to.I've always wanted to try and bring many of my like minded friends together and be able to meet them in one place at one time and have a good time together. As well as personal catch ups, as life gets more demanding as you get older it hard to have catch ups with each and every person right?SO anyway, i have been fortunate to be able to do this; luckily my friends all tend to get on well socially, and some even made good friends getting to know eachother. Which I think is fab.Some friends are early 30's and panic about not having husbands, and I introduced them to my single lot of ladies who have a good time single.Or friends I've met travelling and settled in London, I bring them into my social groups of friendly girls.But I'm finding that one or two of them, have taken to organising all my socials for them and me, even though I introduced them, which is cool, but I'm finding I can't even make my own time to meet them, because this other friend is already trying to organise us all of the time and if I cannot make it (the connector) then tough, she'll go ahead anyway.Or the other one, agrees to go out with another friend by random invite (not planned ahead)- (they get on well) but I'll be last to know something was organised sometimes and get invited later by someone else. Thing is I am the only one in a relationship at the moment too, so they do kinda all bond about single life and men. But I guess I get hurt when, people turn up and takeover as though I've not been apart of introducing all of this group together. and even get side-lined amongst it sometimes. Also they seem to keep their other friendship groups 'private' and not invite me into other 'new loops' I also tend to feel a little bad if I ever made plans behind a mutual friends back without talking to main person first, unless it has become an establised true friendship, but that doesnt happen everyday!Maybe i'm hyper loyal? Should I vent any of this to concerned friend, or just step back and let them do as they please, because afterall, I am happy they are happy and get along and well, my friends will always be my friends.I just get frustrated that someone else steps in takes over when I can arrange socials on regular basis, not just one offs. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 March 2014):
 I think you need to relax a little.
They aren't saying, HEY thanks for introducing me and then ignoring YOU and just you. They EMULATE what you did for them - as in introduce people by creating events, some YOU can attend, others you might not be able too. But you HAVE to accept that your friends social lives doesn't revolve around you.
Just because you introduce people doesn't mean you somehow have some kind of OWNERSHIP over what plans they might may, who they click with, nor do they OWE you to move planned events if you can't make it. And you don't have OWNERSHIP over making plans and events.
Personally, I think you are taking it a little personal.
Join in when you can. Arrange events when you are able, maybe even include/recruit some of the others in the planning.
IT IS A GOOD thing that you are NOT the only one making this social circle bigger.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 March 2014):
 you introduced folks and they became friends too... that's great.. clearly you have a knack for knowing who gets along.
I think you are being overly sensitive..
if they make plans and invite you and you can go then go and it's great...if you can't go then say ... maybe next time but do ask! and keep going.
you make it seem like since you introduced them that you always have to be involved... you don't.
I have a former friend who introduced me to a friend of hers. I am still very close with the girl I was introduced to although no longer friendly with the girl that introduced us... should I stop being friends with my friend because we no longer associate with the person that introduced us?
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