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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 18 years old, studying in the famous university. My group has 6 people. We always stay together. One day , I found that one of my friends, Susy, is so selfish. I really don't like her. And when I asked the others, I discover that they also don't like Susy too. We tell Susy to change her habits, but she's still the same.So, what can I do?? Be friends with Susy, and pretending that everything's fine?, Or tell her to stay away from us? But that's so mean. I can't do it. Anyway, I also can't resist Susy too. What can I do? please!! help me..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): I think im going through the same thing. And if a person hasn't been through this they might not understand it. My friend is selfish in a way that she only wants to talk about her self. I can't get a word in edge-wise when she's filling me in on ever detail about some stupid party she went to at some lake that sounds exactly like the one she was telling me about last week. I find the only way to deal with it, at harsh as it is, is to act like your above her. IE, Im standing in 7-11 after we got caught in the rain after going for a walk that i didn't want to go in the first place, me feet are bleeding from the rocks in my sandals and i announce that im going home. Well my selfish friend gets all sad and says "well why did we even go for a walk if everyones just gonna leave?" just B***h her out and say "Well i couldn't give a damn if going home because i feel like crap breaks ur little heart, Im leaving!" she'll respect you more after this. If all else fails, leaving this friend might be the best option.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): In what way is she selfish ?Is she selfish only with you or with all your friends?I thing you need to talk to her again and again until she will understand that you all her friends want her as a friend not as an enemy.Tell her lonlyness is not good for nothing in the world.I wish to have some friends like you but i dont have none.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2005): Hai sister..
who ever you are, where ever you are ..please do not leav your friend susy .. i've been victim of such things .. i.e. left alone by my group fellows .. this hurts man .. very much. .. you'll break her heart by doing this ... i have experienced these things, even though i was not selfish or anythign like that .. but if you think that the things are not your way ... deal the matter cooperatively and nicely .. dont leav her all alone .. as someone rightly said, how would you feel like if all this would have happened with you ..?
For God Sake ... DONT LEAVE YOUR FREINDS ALONE PLZ ..
My hearts weeps !!i've been the victim of such kinda attitude ..!!
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A
reader, becky05 +, writes (6 July 2005):
Sit down as a group and tell suzy what you are feeling about her. there may be a good reason for her behaviour.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2005): What is it actually the selfish thing that Susy has done to you and your friends? If you really treat her as your `real' friend, do try to make her change, though you have already tried to let her know her problems.Anyway, I guess you can rather learn something from this experience as you are actually going to see something like this more in the future when you grow up and work in the society.There is one Chinese saying in the past and I found it very useful: `It's better to meet each other every day than to live together every day'.I also got this experience in the past as well in which I found someone quite nice and with a heart of gold in the first place, but it finally has turned out not to be the case.Matters such as yours will be more common when you meet more people after you join the workforce. There are no rights and wrongs. It's just that everybody has to defend their own interests which the instinct of human. However, someone, like you, will be more considerate with others, but some others will not.Try to act diplomatic in such kind of situations. Treat it as a good training for you. Remember that true friendship is always hard to come by.
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