A
male
age
30-35,
*tfsrsly
writes:I am in college and have only made 2 friends since starting. one of them is a girl. i am not attracted to her more than a friend. i am deeply in love with my girlfriend and would never want anyone else but she keeps on accusing me of wanting to date other women. she freaked out when she saw i added this friend to Facebook and was sending her messages (mostly about classes we shared) i offered to let her see the messages but she wouldn't but she still won't leave it alone. she is wanting to break up with me because of this girl. i do not text this girl or call her we dont even have each others numbers we just talk on Facebook sometimes and sometimes talk in passing at school. am i in the wrong for having a female friend? my girlfriend says that if i was satisfied with the relationship then i would not need anyone else. (though really makes me worry as she recently took up the habit of meeting people on craigslist and going back to their houses and meeting at parks) (Though she says thats done and she doesnt talk to any of them anymore though i have no proof of this) i want to make things right. i do not want to lose my girlfriend i have never loved anyone like i love her and i don't think i would want to even continue living if she was not in my life. i dont know how to make her understand. i think normal people have friends while they are in a relationship or is this just a misconception on my part? i dont know what to do.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Maybe she doesn't trust you because she herself has been up to no good? The whole Craiglist thing sounds rather like hook ups.. Fishy!
Or maybe she is just a little insecure now that you are further away from her. Talk to her. One thing I can not stand is when people in a relationship wants to "dictate" whom their partner can talk to. Now if you have never given her cause to not trust you, she needs to pony up and trust you.
Men and women CAN be friends.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 sorry, am i right in understanding that your GF has been meeting people on craigslist and going home with them while she was in the relationship with you? and she is freaking about you having a female friend at college?
i could understand your GF's concern if the girl at college was becoming a really close mate of yours, but it does not sound like this is the case, she sounds more of a class mate than a friend, you don't even have each others phone number or see each other outside of college
i think your girlfriend needs to worry more about her own behaviour than yours
x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 No you are not in the wrong for having a female friend. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that you cannot have platonic friendships with the other sex. Please do me a favour and show her your post. I think she is just a little bit paranoid that she is going to lose you. But if she trusted you completely this wouldn't be a problem. My guess is she has little self confidence in herself and feels like she is not enough for you. The only thing that you can do from your side is to reassure her that she is the love of your life and that you want to be with her and nobody else but you also need to stand your ground and tell her that while at college you are going to have some friends and that it is normal in life to have friends. If she cannot accept that well then she is going to have trouble in life with any relationship.
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