A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello fellow cupid readers, sorry a bit of background is needed for this. i am in an ldr with my bf of 1 month but we have been incredibly close friends since we were two and we are both now fifteen even though i only see him like four times a year. As we have only been officially dating a month i thought it was too soon to introduce him to my friends, also him living 30miles away it would be hard to organise them all to meet up anyways. i have met his friends who are great and i really would like him to meet mine until last week. i have four of my closest friends as my favourite contacts so when he stole my phone and i used his to speak to his friends (what can i say, we are fifteen ) He spoke to all four of them three of which said he was lovely and couldnt speak highly enough of him, but my closest friend of the four has never met him and only spoke to him for a couple of hours said that she didnt like him, his attitude or the way he treated me which absolutely destoyed me I stuck up for my bf as i read the messages and saw nothing wrong with any of it. was i being a bad friend for telling her what i thought and getting into an argument over a guy which i swore i would never do with her? or was i just being a good gf for sticking up for him?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 September 2014):
 Would you date him if YOU didn't think he treated you right? My guess is no.
YOUR friend is ENTITLED to her opinion, but it doesn't mean she is RIGHT about him.
You guys are 15. Which mean you have no or very little relationship experience. (which again is QUITE normal for your age group). EVERYONE (regardless of age) have certain expectations when it comes to relationships, partner and friends. Your friend have different expectation then you and maybe...... she is a little jealous? Or she is VERY protective of her friends and wants you to have the BEST bf in the world and thus a REAL BF falls short to the guy she THINKS her friends should be dating.
I would suggest you stick to not involving your friends for now in conversations with your BF. IT is very easy to misunderstand things in text form. Sarcasm for one, humor is another, so if he was trying to be suave and funny, she might have thought he was being mean. Know what I'm saying?
Instead of thinking you have to DEFEND either of them, accept that she might just not like him. Or she is jealous of you for HAVING a bf or him for taking attention away from YOUR friendship with her. It's not really uncommon. She might not even totally realize why she is feeling the way she is and I would suggest.... you don't call her jealous. But that you accept she doesn't like him (for now) which means... she probably don't want to hear hours of you GUSHING over your new bf.
Was it wrong of you to have word with her? No. You shouldn't HAVE to justify WHY you like him, but you don't have to agree with her in not liking him either.
If she brings him up to slag on him, tell her nicely that you accept SHE doesn't like him, but YOU do. And YOU are dating him, so if she can't say anything nice about him, then JUST don't discuss him.
But don't make a big deal out of this. I have had friends who dated guys I didn't like, and I DO think it's a friends job to be HONEST. So if one of my friends ASKED me what I thought I would be honest and tell them. Though I don't think I have ever judge a person from a little conversation over the phone, that seems a little harsh.
She will get over it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2014): Your best friend might be a little jealous. First that you have a boyfriend, and secondly that he has taken her place as the closest person to you. You have known him a long time; so a lot of things about him you will excuse that maybe your friend doesn't care for.
She is entitled to her opinion, and you have a right to defend him. You've known him since you were both two years old, and there is very little you don't know about him. Most of your friends like him and so do you. In this case, majority rules. Most importantly, you like him. He likes you.
Just keep the two of them separated. That should be easy since he is even long-distance from you. Just tell her you respect her opinion, but he is someone you care about just like her. Let her know that it would make you feel better if they both got along for your sake.
Tell her you love her just as much as you did before. Try to make up. You are right, no sense in letting a boy be the reason you're fighting. Let her know that it is very important to you that she is happy for you. Then don't bring it up again. She has no right to choose the boys you like. Try not to rub her nose in the fact that you have a boyfriend. I think mostly it's because she's jealous.
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