A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing this guy for a few months. Now that I think back, it was really unsatisfactory. I put up with a lot of crap and I was miserable but I put a good front. I mean, I was happy, but only when things seemed to be going great. So we ended it with him cheating on me. At first it was hard to let him go because I really had feelings for him. Now that I look back its like he was always confused and he couldn't let me go because I cared about him so much. He always talked about how he wanted something real and I was there all along. He just didnt want me. So I've always known what I wanted. Time passed and I was still healing but I met another guy. Actually, I've always known this man. I met him when I was 16 and I can honestly say he's always been that one person. Our life situations always kept us apart. I mean, we live 9 hours apart. So, we took it a little slow, but it was hard to when we've always had this ongoing relationship despite being with other people. We always come back to each other. After being hurt and played with enough, I finally realized exactly what I need. Things are still moving along with this guy but it's long distance. We're kind of back to our old selves; the relationship on hold until we figure out how to be together. The other day, I get a message from the douche bag. He tries to talk things out. I honestly don't have hard feelings toward him. I just feel sorry for him now. I really want to get together with him once more and just talk things out. Do you think this is a good idea?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 January 2012):
 There really isn't anything to discuss. There is no such thing as "closure" for most people, because we actually spend more time blaming ourselves for things we had no power over, such as... a partner cheating, a partner no caring, being a tool, you name it.
Don't waste your breath, all he wants is to wheel you back in not because he cares, but because it strokes his ego knowing that you still have feelings.
Remember all the crap he did to you, hold on to that and realize that you are sooo much better off without him.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Nope, it's not a good idea. The funny thing about "talking things out" is that it won't have the end result you're looking for. You got cheated on and there is nothing that he can say, or that you can say, that will make the situation better. The outcome remains the same and the feelings due to the outcome will remain the same as well.
It's normal to think that explanations, the why's and how's will somehow give you a better understanding and a sense of peace, but it usually doesn't. There is no sense in opening yourself up to more emotional crap than necessary.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 January 2012):
 No. It's a STUPID idea. Put it out of your head and get on with your life....
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 No, I don't. Sometimes there is a benefit to getting together one last time, clearing the air, finding acceptance and moving on. All too often though, people wind up in bed together or stirring up old feelings and becoming confused. The only reason he wants to get together now is to inch his way back into your life.The best way to avoid all that fuss is to avoid him. Surely you've already said everything you needed to say when you broke up with him. Even if you didn't, saying it now won't add a day to your life.Decline the invitation. Wish him well, then block him.
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