A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have absolutely no idea what to think about this guy. This guy is the co-owner of a bistro that is next to my work, a place that I eat at when I work (I started because there's nowhere else to eat over a 30min. break in the area!) I'm 18 and I would say that he is probably in his early 20's. He is very kind and friendly, but quiet. (Not shy, just... doesn't say that much, he's still confident, though). He's not as talkative as the owner, to anyone, not even his coworkers. He doesn't usually talk to customers besides taking their orders, and that's how it is for me on occasion (although he does make little comments that don't really mean anything - i.e. when I walked over without my coat in freezing weather he asked if I was cold, he wished me a merry Christmas in case he wasn't going to see me again before Christmas, etc. - just simply being friendlier than he is to other customers just like the other guys who work there, since I'm a regular). However, sometimes he is extra attentive to me; he has put his hand on the small of my back when asking me what I needed, if I even stand up he'll ask what I need (or won't ask, he'll just read my mind and get what I need), he's allowed me to repay the bistro another day because I accidentally let my bank account go empty (how embarrassing). Sometimes though, its not like that at all! I think part of it is if the owner is there, as he seems to ignore me a bit when the owner is there (the owner is a very nice, friendly guy, by the way, which is why I wonder), but I think there's more to it. Sometimes he just avoids eye contact, hardly says anything, etc. If you are simply being a friendly person, isn't it kind of strange to change your behavior for no obvious reason toward one specific person? From what I can tell he seems more friendly to me (when he is friendly... or ignores me more), but that could always be because I'm a regular.I know that sometimes I can be a little bit confident but then the next day be afraid of showing how I feel (feeling like I made a fool of myself before) which will cause me to unintentionally ignore someone I like, when in reality all I want to do is talk to them. Is this the same?What on earth is this guy doing? Is it me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): do you tip him everytime? maybe hes short on cash some days and thinks you might leave him some extra cash if he touches your shoulder,
do you know if he has a gf? it seems your just playing a game as well, you need to be confident and ask him whats up? if you dont see him outside the bistro he prob doesnt like you that much if he hasnt askedyou for your number ans texted you at least once
A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (1 January 2010):
 Hmm, sometimes i use this tacktic as well when I like a girl or if I try to figure out if she is interested. I make one step forward, I act like your friend here, nice,talkative and a little charming and then a step back. I back off to see how she will react. Will she reciprocate? Will she make an effort to start a conversation? Does she cares that she doesn't have my full attention? On the other hand this guy might also just enjoys playing mind games with you. Hope you figure it out. Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): I think you are way over analyzing this. He probably does not put nearly as much thought into his behavior towards you as you do.
As a former business owner myself, it is just good business to be friendly to the customers and if you have a regular, you are going to be that much more attentive because you have gotten to know them. However, he is a human being and he may be preoccupied with other things on some days when you come in.
It seems you like him and hope that his interest is of the romantic kind. If it were, I think he would have let you know by now. If you want to a find out, then ask him out, like to have a coffee somewhere other than his place of business.
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