A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy on and off since Christmas and the sex is amazing, it's the best sex I've ever had. We're not getting into a relationship because we both have issues and baggage that we don't want to bring into a relationship and I'm really busy with work so it suits us both just to have a casual thing.The only worry I'm having is that it's looking that he could be moving away soon, and while that sucks for the obvious reasons, there's also one thing that has me seriously pissed.I cannot emphasise how good the sex is, we just seem to push each others buttons in the best possible way and every time I think about sex with him I'm instantly turned on. I think a lot of the reason that the sex is so good is that he is pretty well endowed. Not monster sized or anything, but just nice and big.I hadn't been able to orgasm through intercourse with any of my previous partners despite being in love with one of them and really liking the others, and the guy in question makes me come every time (sometimes multiple orgasms) I think it's down to the fact that he is so well endowed. Is the saying "It's not the size, it's what you can do with it" just something guys with small penises say to justify themselves? The sex has been so good with this guy I'm worried now that I won't be able to enjoy sex with anyone else unless they're also really well endowed, and let's face it, a lot of men aren't.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): "Is the saying "It's not the size, it's what you can do with it" just something guys with small penises say to justify themselves?"
Yes, all of us guys only think about the size of our penises, it is the only thing we have to value ourselves by.
The bigger the penis, the better the man.
All women think that way as well.
If a guy with a bigger penis moves in next door to a couple, the woman leaves the man for the guy with the bigger penis.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): ...staying with someone just because the sex is good? Even though they're a douche?
I'm not proud to say it, but I've done it...and no matter how good the sex is, if you can't bond with the person emotionally, it gets old fast. Sexual chemistry with a person only takes you so far.
Perhaps it's not his penis size that really makes the sex great, maybe it's the fact that you consider the relationship "low stakes". Because you don't get emotionally involved and because don't have to consider all the complications of initmacy sometimes it's easier to just enjoy the sex for what it is.
The problem I have had with purely physical relationships is that a certain point you realize you're not even having sex with a person, you are just using them (and they are using you) in a mastubatory kind of way. The act becomes totally impersonal and a little gross...even if it feels really good. The worst part is that it can be addictive in a not so healthy way.
To answer your question, you can go big and go back. It's not as if your organs are distorted. The only thing that might end of being distorted is you view of sex of general. If you sleep with people just to get your kicks, when you try to have an intimate relationship again, it's actually hard to get back into having emotionally connected sex again. I've tried it and
definitely had trouble connecting with people afterwards.
Sex is funny like that. Whenever you have it, you pretty much pass on what ever you learned from your previous partners. If you have emotionally void sex with a person for a while, that attitude will rub off on your future partners. They will pick up on it....they might not like the mood you bring to bed or worry that you're using them. So even though it might feel really good in the moment, you might be doing yourself a diservice in the long run.
It sounds like you want to lose this guy anyway and he isn't all that much to you beyond his penis. If that's the case you might as well quit him now.
Good luck.
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