A
male
age
30-35,
*inter1111
writes:I just need some reassurance because i am worrying really. When i was 11 in school, we went on a week long residential trip to wales, half way through the week, a person i thought was a friend, she was also 11 accused me of raping her. it got found out she was lying of course, but i think it affected me deeply, something like that happening.I am worrying again now, i am now 16, and am volunteering at the same primary school, to put towards my duke of edinburgh award, i am worried i might get accused of rape again by some random 11 year old...Am i being stupid? can someone please reassure me about the best course of action to take. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, veronika  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 In my opinion, the chances of you being accused of raping someone again when you haven't is quite low. If you haven't done anything wrong, you don't really have anything to fear. Rape is very hard to prove anyway, and usually it ends up being a "he said, she said" scenario where it's the victim against the perpetrator, because witnesses and evidence can be hard to come by. So really, if you're accused of rape when you haven't raped, they likely have no evidence, and thus it won't stand up in the eyes of the law and it won't end badly for you.But to be honest, I doubt it will happen again at the very same school.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): No, you are not being stupid. You were a victim of a serious offense, which has affected you (this is normal) and can further cause you some difficulties until you have dealt with it more effectively. Why don't you start by talking to your parents about how you feel and how you are still marked by this event to this day. This is not something that should be taken lightly, and it isn't surprising the effects are lingering, as an accusation of this kind puts you in an awful position and can leave you under false impressions especially given your young, impressionable age, of only 11, when this occurred.
You would more than likely benefit from letting all your thoughts and emotions out to someone who can help you. I'm sure you will manage to spoof this event into something that doesn't move a hair on your head but while you still feel it affects you in any way - for example now by fearing it will happen again - try and discuss it minutely and analyse it with a bit of outside help. It has to be tackled away so you can build a great future for yourself and develop good relationships in the future. There are several aspects to explore here, maybe with the school therapist? If you feel you can have some difficulties approaching and interacting with girls (or boys) now, fearing they could lie about you or cause you trouble in some way, don't take it lighty. Do this and you are halfway there to solving this problem.
As for the girl, if she was older she could have received a serious penalty for lying on such a serious case, causing you huge prejudice had the truth not come out. You fear this happening again probably because you lack self-trust in yourself now and probably distrust girls too more or less. It's normal, all you feel, all you are going through, don't dismiss your feelings, talk them out; start by talking to your parents. I'm sure you are a brave boy and can feel much better about this and have great time in your volunteering and in general as you seem a very nice person. Trust your power to get over this event.
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A
female
reader, girl from bristol +, writes (31 January 2010):
hi your not being stupid its understandable that you will feelworried but not everyone would do that she was probably after the attention dont worry about it
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