A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi im in a dilema im in a new relationship with a guy and I really like him. Last night we ended up getting into a conversation about cheating. He admitted that he had cheated on his ex twice basically she cheated on him so he cheated back. Im a bit insecure and hate cheating so it made me feel a bit strange. When I got home I was texting him and asking if he would cheat on me and that I could swear I would not cheat on him. He said he was sorry and could not swear that he would never cheat again and that life hold so many suprises he cannot predict what may or may not happen. I asked if he really loved and cared for somebody would he stay faithful he said he could not answer that question. My automatic reaction was end it walk away protect yourself from it happening but then I thought all men/women are capable of cheating even if they say they are not when temptation comes calling your not always strong enough to resist. I was thinking he is honest enough not to tell me what he knows i want and need to hear. I also asked was he happy enough with me at the moment to only want me and he said yes he was. Im not sure what to do as I really like him should I give him the benefit of the doubt to see if he can change or walk away. Either way though I feel that any man can cheat on me as my ex from along time ago who I thought loved me did the same Thanks for listening
View related questions:
his ex, insecure, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): I don't believe in the phrase "Once a cheater always a cheater" - that would seem to imply that human beings can never change. What a sad world that would be.
But your boyfriend on the other hand, for him to tell you he could not swear he wouldn't cheat again is quite worrying.
First, your boyfriend knows first hand how painful it is to be cheated on. That should be enough for him to never do it to anyone else.
Second, I personally believe that it is possible for a person to make a promise to someone and for them to keep that promise.
There is no way I would ever be someone who doesn't feel they could remain faithful. How can you ever have a future with someone like that? You know for a start that you could never marry them.
For someone to get in to a relationship with someone who wants commitment and faithfulness and to know they may not be able to meet those promises is extremely selfish. It sounds like your boyfriend has a commitment problem and is not yet ready for a faithful relationship.
Look after yourself, an admission like this is enough to send someone down an eventual spiral of self-doubt, insecurity and jealousy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): Hi there, i can confirm i am the person who raised this question. Not sure if I explained myself right. This guy has not cheated on me and was not with his ex when he started seeing me we were both single when we got together. Hope this makes a bit more sense now. But if he ever does cheat then he will get the boot I never give second chances
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): Nah Hun, ain't worth it, if he loved you he would not have cheated with you, simple really... if you do give him a chance you'll always have doubts if he does it again or not tc
...............................
|
