A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Because of the easy availability of all genres of porn, in all levels of explicitness and in the media of one's choosing, many people, especially men, are using it for their entertainment. To some, these activities are vilified and this behavior is perceived as some perversion that needs to be cured or abandoned, and you may be among them. Be careful for what you wish.Why is it happening? Since long before you or I ever existed, sex has existed between the genders as a control mechanism almost as much as has existed as a guarantor of the succession of the species. Men and their predecessors would use their physical advantages to insure that they would always have access to and control of their sexual release, whenever and wherever they perceived they needed it. In other times and places, as cultures changed and evolved, when it became unacceptable for men to treat women as possessions in these ways, a different form of control also evolved: the denial of sex without gain. But this time it is women's control of men that typically drives this relationship. Prostitution, in its gross and more subtle forms, has driven, and continues to drive, much of the relationships that exist between men and women, including dating and marriage. If you doubt the association of prostitution with marriage, observe what happens in a marriage when he loses his job and can no longer support her: once the money runs out, in many cases, so does she.Men have been, and many still are, controlled by sex. Men are driven by a biological need to release semen on a regular basis. Some overcome this - most do not. The less we release semen, the more it impacts our hormonal balance and, eventually, it affects our decisions and actions, much in the way a malnourished person takes actions to correct the imbalance, regardless of other considerations. Arguably, this borders on not being a choice at all, once the hormonal imbalance reaches an unhealthy level. Men become victims of this as much as an unmilked cow is the victim of the milker's neglect.Given this biological imperative, one must consider how the mores of the moment fence in the acceptable responses that a man can make to this demand. Tragically, many are taught that masturbation is an unacceptable response: this is the most dangerous group of all. If it is determined that it unacceptable for a man to relieve himself, and he accepts such a premise, then he is dependent on others to reduce or eliminate the biological imbalance that repeatedly returns like udders full of milk. This becomes the cultural equivalent of tying a man's hands behind his back and him having to deal with the results of these hormonal demands. It is not a distant leap from this to the explanation for why men rape. Certainly this is not an excuse for such behavior, but it might help one understand how a man might might make such a poor choice and take such a heinous action against another. Fortunately, most men in this group don't take this course of action, but remain trapped between rape and masturbation in trying to deal with this relentless biological imperative. However, these are the victims of moral limitations, caught between the two extremes of behavioral responses - these are the ones held hostage by society for their refusal, or perceived inability, to take control of their needs and solve it themselves. Of the three groups, rapists, masturbators and everyone in between, these are the "moral victims", the ones in the middle.Between these three groups, at least the moral victims are more evolved than the rapists - no one in their right mind would argue for a return or a resurgence of men's violent treatment of women, or other men, in order to relieve their own sexual tension. On the other hand, in the evolution of human relationships, it can be argued that masturbators are more evolved than the moral victims, since they do not need to rely on others to relieve the sexual tension that builds up, day after day, year after year, regardless of any other considerations.The heart and the actions of the masturbator is pure: they are no longer influenced, nor driven, by the need for relief and release of their hormonal imbalances. If a masturbator spends time with someone, it is because they want to be with them, and not because of any ulterior motives to have sex with them.But this, then, becomes frightening for many, since it has been argued that it is the sexual tension that exists within males that drives all human development. According to Freud, it is this primal drive that makes all activities possible. The drive to succeed, to be accepted, to be viewed as a man is insidiously intertwined with sexual drive. By using masturbation to simply defuse this mechanism could be construed not only as antithetical to the motivation of the species, but even to its continued existence: if every man masturbated instead of being driven to have sex with women, it could be argued that we would quickly vanish from the earth, becoming extinct by this choice.Fortunately, as humans, we can choose to procreate as a function of some higher calling, rather than the primordial urge to have sex. The evolution of humans toward masturbation, then, will also necessarily lead to the species having children based on the desire and conscious choice to have children, instead of as an accident of lust, which is how many children are currently procreated in this world.So, it should be in the best interest of all of us that we not only stop vilifying masturbators, but that we see this behavior as a non-violent solution to many age-old problems that have existed between the genders.
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male
reader, rumncokecanada  +, writes (3 April 2009):
IF you dont blow your wad daily you will have a constant hard on. MEn need to masturbate daily its a relief of satisfaction and most men have wives that dont want sex daily. The misery of these men that dont get there daily sex turns to prostition,cheating and masturbating. My advise to you woman who tend to give there man sex when they want is that dont be surprised if your man gets escorts or has a g.f on the side. If i wasnt get what i want i would do the same. And dont say' my husband isnt like that' of course you think that he wouldnt but trust me i was an old escort driver and the men these girls would get are all married on business trips. SO the next time you try to control your man in sex,dont think your in control,cause hes getting it somewhere else.
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