A
male
age
41-50,
*w1974
writes:Well could do with some advice again, ive been seeing a girl now for a couple of months. Things have been going great, just casually dating once a week to start. The last couple of dates we have been on have gotten fairly intimate, didnt go all the way though. We have a mutual friend who introduced us, the mutual friend has told me that at times she can be insecure about herself,shes told our friend she really likes me, and is enjoying going out with me.We made arrangements to see each other this weekend, then the night before we are supposed to meet up i get the we need to have a chat message.Well we got chatting about work an stuff, then the subject of us came up. She proceeded to tell me how much she fancies me, likes going out with me and we have loads of fun when we are out.But its brought up memories of her ex and she is questioning whether she is over him.they split up over ayear ago. And doesnt want to mess me about but she fancies me loads. Then she said oh being silly at the moment i dont know why im like this, maybe its a self defence mechanism so i dont let people get close.And that she has done this before but didnt fancy them like she does with me, and in a while we may end up together. When i said well to be honest that never really happens she started saying why not, ive done it before but i didnt fancy them like i do with you.Then she said she didnt even think i fancied her, when i said i did fancy her and she was very very wrong on that and that i dont wanna rush anything she said thats good to know. She then said she wants me to stay in touch with her and i can borrow the dvds from her that i wanted. And when i mentioned about changing gyms she said shes got a day pass for hers so i can come with her and check hers out. At the moment this is very confusing,on one hand its like back off, but the other its like but dont go away. Any advice would be fantastic.
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male
reader, jw1974 +, writes (21 February 2010):
jw1974 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, i did tell her this in the initial phone call. Since then her friens who set us up has had a chat with her asking hows things going, she did tell her the same but regretted it when she put the phone down but after a think its the right thing to do.
Since this though she has told her friend that we went to the gym together and that she has told her ex not to contact her again. Very confusing behaviour.
A
male
reader, redneck9407  +, writes (14 February 2010):
Sounds like she is as confused as you are... Make sure she is aware of how you feel and that she understands you are willing to take time to get to know each other before you pursue anything sexual. Just tell her that is she truly likes you to give you a chance.
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