A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:he is a great guy, but has a couple of problems.have been with him 15 months he lives with me. we havent been intimate for 10 months, i ask him if he wants to be with me and he says yes but there is no affection. it is like living with a roommate. we sleep together but in a king bed and dont ever touch each other. he isnt a big talker either so i just dont know what to do anymore. this is the weirdest relationship i have ever been in. in one way its the best relationship and the other hand it is the worst.please give me some advice maybe im making to much out of the situation and should just leave it alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your responses i will fill you in alittle more. i have a low labito he has low esteam he sayes he dosent like himself and that he is his own worst enemy but doesent do anything to help himself to feel better about himself. i need him financialy witch i am enberrest to say but it is true. i will be getting a job next month and when i can support myself i think i might say by by. but he isnt over protective or things like that and i have been with so many other loosers. i pay for my morgage, electricty, phone,air car. then my ssi is gone so he is left to pay everything else and never complanes i have my own debit card to his account. so i dont want to dump him i feel safe with him. been alone a long time before him and didnt like it.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (23 July 2009):
 Sounds like he loves you but has a very low sex drive and some form of communication disorder.
Some women will be reading this thinking "great a man that leaves you alone and doesnt pester for sex" whilst others will be thinking what is the good parts if no sex.
Me, well im thinking that you need to invest in a good vibrator and give your self some pleasure in the short term and like the others say, try and talk to him, you may have to say its all over if he doesnt listen, but try and find out why he does not like intermacy, maybe he has something like Aspergers syndrome.
He may have been hurt or humiliated or abused in his past, he may love you but be scarred of showing you or just not know how.
What would happen if in bed you took his penis in your hand, maybe when he was half asleep?
Does he ever kiss you full on lips and how is he with you in public, does he hold hands, does he cuddle on the couch and if you are hurt or upset how then does he react?
Tell me a little more if you can, sounds like you really love him and want this to happen, but a life without any form of intamacy is a lonely life and you may as well be single.
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A
female
reader, His kitten +, writes (23 July 2009):
WAIT!!! Think about this. Not good communication and no intimacy in the first few years??? Honey, PLEASE take it from me....I've got experience. I am here for a reason that you may come here for in years to come. My husband is GREAT on so many levels. Yes, he has learned alot thru the years, we have been married for over 25 years. Yet, his lack of communication led to a breakdown in our marriage and even though he HAS gotten LOADS better in that department, we have another major issue. For MANY YEARS we had a FANTASTIC sex life. Now I am left with nothing! He has given it to me about 5 to 6 times in the last four years. Now normally I wouldn't go looking for a playmate, but when we had mutually agreed to separate, I found one. (I had been faithfull all those years...till we WERE separating.) Now I am just plain hurt, needing and wanting sex. This morning, even though my marriage is great in all other respects....I am going to go see my playmate that I haven't seen in months. Yes, I am going to go out and cheat. If only I could morph the two aspects of my two men together THEN I would have the perfect marriage. My husband is so good in all aspects except sex. And I am young in my eyes (early, early 40s), so I am resentful that I have been sexless for many years. Even before the last 4 years I would get it maybe 3 times a year. It is only getting worse.So take it from one who is living this situation years later. Just ask yourself.... can I live with him with all his good qualities and yet this lack of communication and SEX? You do NOT want to be faced with having an affair years later. The guilt is too much to bear at times. (And honey, obviously, my post is centered on the sex side of things....communication is a whole nother thing to think about.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): I'm left scratching my head as to exactly what the good points about this relationship are. I can see the bad - no affection, no communication and no physical contact but are you happy with that? I doubt it or you wouldn't have written in.
You need to talk with him about this. You have to tell him you want some conversation, intimacy and physical contact because you're not a nun in a convent.
You ask if you should leave it alone, to which I'd reply "No - definitely not - it needs sorting out." No intimacy for 10 months out of 15 is definitely not good.
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