A
female
age
36-40,
*d206
writes: Before Christmas I had a few dates with this guy. We met two years ago and then last year I was studying abroad so we didn't pursue it. When I got back he was still keen and we dated a bit but since the Christmas holidays he's become a bit stand offish. I always have to be the one to text/call/msn him and when he replies he's not as keen as he was before. I'm not deluded, I can see he's not really into me anymore. The thing is, I'd like to stay mates because we were really good friends even when we were together. I just feel awkward about being the first person to get in touch all the time and some nights I will sit just staring at the messenger screen until he signs out. How often do you think it's appropriate to contact him? I want to give him some space and not bother him but I would like to keep in touch. Thanks in advance! CD
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): Even friends need to be in contact to keep the bond of friendship, ongoing. But..he's not doing this. You sound like you've accepted that he doesn't want to date you or.... have you really accepted it, dear? I think you likely still like him a lot and you are holding out on a glimmer of hope or you wouldn't be bothered by this awkwardness you feel. This is where I always say to couples who want to be friends and one of them harbors more romantic feelings...lose contact altogether-until these feelings have been worked out. Goodness, don't sit there and stare at a messenger screen...hoping he'll make the first move. Look at the time you are whiddling away! Get away from that computer, get out with gal pals and have some fun. Life is too short, pining and dwelling and holding out hope, that this guy will 'beep' you. Look to your other contacts on MSN, too and have fun, talking to other people. I can assure you, he is likely doing the same thing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): Awkward situation ive been there myself.I was always the one to say hello first.I did question this at the time and said i feel awkward saying hello all the time first.Then i left it down to them for a bit and they made the effort.Plus if he didnt really want to have any contact with you he could just simply block you when he didnt want any contact.
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