A
female
age
30-35,
*ove325
writes:so I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I recently found out he cheated on me with a friend of his that I recently met...she has a boyfriend and everything and her and my boyfriend were having a little fling on the low but I caught them because from the moment I met her I felt something was wrong and I digged for clues and found...my boyfriend confessed to me that all that happen was he took her out twice and they kissed a couple of times and one time she went down on him...when we had our talk before I broke up with him for closure he was completely honest and answered everything I wanted to know..he told me that he was starting to get bored with the relaitonship and he found interest and happiness in her and he knew he was wrong in doing that while being with me but he was selfish and that somwhere along the way it started to not feel right and he was starting to appreciate me...he begged me for another chance and to let him earn my trust and that he will go as far as not talking to her and I believed him and I really do want to make it work but I don't want to make it seem like nothing happened and just stay with him..i feel like I wouldve seemed weak...so I still broke up with him with the hope that maybe in a month or some time away from each other I can make him realize that if he does this again there will be consequences.i want to get back with him because i feel like everyone deserves a second chance and i know deep down inside my bf is a good guy he just made a horrible mistake and i do want a future with himso my main point is...if so how do I reach out to him after I feel like I have had time to myself and given him time to learn his lesson?or should I wait and see if he contacts me later on?i want a month to myself should i let him know that or completely ignore him for the month and then contact him to try to work things out how should i go about this
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female
reader, love325 +, writes (24 December 2010):
love325 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea i miss him soo much already and that other is soo happy with her boyfriend...i feel like just giving him a chance and showing her that nothing can break us apart but then again he will only learn his lesson with time is a month too much??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): NO, I repeat, NO, do NOT get back with him! He cheated on you, how can you trust him again? If he was bored with the relationship how is it even possible to get the "spark" back the second time around? I'm sorry but he is buttering you up, don't talk to him again. Move on and find a guy who will NEVER cheat on you and then sugarcoat it.
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (24 December 2010):
 Dont ignore him. Tell him he hurt you badly and honestly right now if he wants to work things out with you then he needs to build trust at a friendship level before anything else. If you cut off all communication he may move on.
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A
female
reader, rememberthismoment_  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 I don't mean to sound harsh because I have been cheated on and honey oh I know how much it hurts... But this guy didn't just make one mistake, he took her out twice and he let her suck him off? Yeah boredom so isn't an excuse for cheating on someone, if you love them you try your best to make it work not go and date someone else and have sexual contact with them. This guy is so not worth another second of your time, he should learn his lesson the hard way, never take him back. I know you love him now, but in a few years time you'll thank me because a leopard never changes it's spots especially cheating ones. You're still so young, get your glad-rags on and find someone who loves you for exactly who you are and not someone who makes up lame excuses for cheating on you. All the best in your future :)
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A
female
reader, _nataliebeebaybee1 +, writes (23 December 2010):
 hi, what your boyfriend did to you can affect your confidence ... everything ! people do make mistakes but you need to make sure NOTHING happens like that again. I would suggest telling him you need space tell him your hurt, exactly how you feel ! when you want to take him back, say " one more time and anything happens like that again i will not come back, i dont want to be upset again !" make it very very clear because you dont want to seem like a pushover. Id deffo tell him to cut all contact with her because this will only make the situation worse. remember he obviously loves you because he said it started to feel weird so that just proves that he really does love you. atleast he now knows he was being selfish. everyones only human and believe me if you make a point and tell him the rules he wont ever do anything like that ever again.Good luck with your future and your relationship x
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