A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can the Aunts and Uncles help me please I meet a older man 6 years ago who told me he was separated but was actually still married. When I found this out I ended it and was heartbroken. He had had a older daughter my age from a separate relationship. I got on well with her, but she spoke too me on separate occasions telling me that he was only with his now ex wife because she was holding his younger kids over him. Fast forward 6 years he has now divorced her and has his younger kids at the weekend. I got back together with him recently and he told me all of this and couldn't get over me. He said when wee first met he was looking for his leg over and fell for me. That's why he couldn't stay with his wife no longer. His older daughter has confirmed all this. I'm trying hard too believe him but the fact he cheated in his wife with me first time round is still in my mind. I'm trying too be with him but that still burns in my mind. I'm sure there was a time he told her all this too. I also have a 5 year old too him. That he only met a few months ago, I never told him she was his but he said he was following me a good while convinced that she was his. Which I denied, that's why he got his oldest daughter(25) too keep asking. I finally did respond and go back too him. I'm i being a idiot though? I'm 27 and he's 48 now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2018): I read your post, although everything that you have written after the "who told me he was separated but was actually still married" doesn't really matter. It only underlines that he is a narcissist.
Do you really think he cares about anybody but himself?
Look what a mess he had made out if his and his children's lives?
If you loved yourself and respected yourself NOTHING past that sentence I quoted wouldn't be important.
Why do you give such importance to the things he says. He never acted like he cared about you or his family.
Now when he's almost 50 and probably washed up, he comes back to you.
Six years is a HUGE difference at that period. Six years ago he was fortyish and now he's almost fifty.
Stop romanticizing and idealizing. Focus on yourself AND your kid. Keep him out of your lives.
The best thing my mom did was ostracizing my biological father, who would have utterly ruined my childhood, sense of self love and self worth.
You don't know the facts. You know what you have been told. His daughter is also giving you her interpretation and repeating what she had been told.
I don't care if he's last wife kicked him out or he got fed up and felt like having a younger model. He's a self-centered liar and will hurt you (which at this point is your fault) and your child (idem).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2018): Just wait until you are a little older.I promise you he will trade you in for another younger wife.He has a history of this.Believe what he has shown you.Do not ignore this important red flag. But if he is the father of your child be sure to get child support because your child deserves that.Also take the kid to therapy because at 5 years old telling her he is dad is gonna mess with her and best to do that the right way so you don't mess her up for life.
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