A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 years. We have a 17 year age difference. I'm almost 27 and he just turned 44. I used to be turned on by him at one time. My bf has a good heart and he means well. He has good qualities and that's what I love about him. But the bad outweighs the good! He currently lives with his parents now (across the street from me) after losing his job 2 years ago. He lost his car/license. He has a bad temper (not abusive). I take care of him financially. I also help my unemployed mother and brother. All of this stresses me out a lot. I'm starting to feel like everyones mother ... and I don't even have kids.I don't like cuddling or kissing him anymore. I find any excuse to not have sex with him. I actually find myself getting annoyed. I love him, but I don't think I'm IN love with him. I'm having a very difficult time ending it because like I mentioned before, he lives right across the street and he always tells me he loves me and how happy I make him. I'm worried he might cause a scene in front of my home (don't want neighbors involved). He's yelled my name outside my window when i broke up with him for about a week a few years back. I was embarrassed. I'm just not good at being a heart breaker and than I'll worry about second guessing my decision. I honestly don't see us having a future together.I've been cheating on him with someone who is my age. I am VERY sexually attracted to. This guy and I have a casual relationship (off and on for about 8 years). I know it's wrong, but I don't even feel bad about it anymore.I need help, how do I break up with my bf after 4 years when he lives right across the street? I don't want to keep leading him on.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Move...
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 June 2010):
 You need to just do it. Cheating is wrong, as you know, and you need the courage to just end it with your BF once and for all.
After you break up with him, if he pulls any psycho behavior, call the cops and don't answer the door. If he is dumb enough to make a scene in front of all the neighbors, he'll have all of their eyes on him when the cops drag him away. Then you can get a restraining order barring him from going within a certain distance from you.
As far as helping everyone else out, you're not the Social Services, nor are you the haven for the unemployed. You are a good person for helping your family during this recession, but there ARE services that help too. You don't have to be bled dry for family.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (3 June 2010):
 A 44 yro man, lives with his parents, lost his car, license and loses his temper? Plus you take care of him financially? Girl, this isn't a boyfriend, this is a leech!
Just tell him, straight up, this nonsense is over, like yesterday. If you try to harass me like you've done in the past and I will have you removed from my property in a split second.
Don't put up with this, sweetie. I see no reason that you should.
Get with your new guy and have a good life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): You are 27; he is 44!!
Take this from a person who spent 5 years of her life with a man 12 years older who did nothing to dump his life's baggage on my head all the time. I didn't have the guts to break up, i didn't have the guts to stick it out..
and i regret i wasting 5 years on my life on nothing. I will never get them back.
You will thank yourself someday for digging your heels in and standing up for yourself. It is your life; and it is more important that what the neighbors think..
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